It must be a sign from God. Two days after my Tai Chi buddy Eric tells me about the Armor of God PJs, I watch Bill Maher’s HBO show and praise the Lord!, I see them again.
The message was clear: Rush to armorofgodpjs.com and order a pair. I don’t wear pajamas, but hey, if God tells me to jump, I’ll come down with both feet inside those silky-looking bottoms.
Sadly, I was crushed to learn that all they have are boys and girls sizes. But the website says that Armor of God blankets are coming soon. I can hardly wait to feel safe and peaceful while I sleep, protected by my faith in Jesus.
Except, oops, I don’t have any faith in Jesus. Wonder if the blanket will still work? Probably, so long as my VISA charge goes through.
While I’m on the “onward Christian merchandisers” theme, last night Channel 2 news had a segment on the St. Joseph Statues that people are using to help sell their houses.
I’m a little vague on the theological underpinnings for how the statues work, but all you have to do is bury St. Joseph in the ground with his feet pointing to heaven. Which, I assume, is up. Then you sit back and wait for the offers to pour in.
Given the slow real estate market these days, spending a few bucks on a statue sounds like a bargain. And you can’t argue with the testimonials. (Well, actually I could. But it’s late and I want to go watch some TV, so I won’t).
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Dear Brian,
Some few Christians might not like the “abomination” of girls wearing PJs that have pants. (Cf. Dt. 22:5 [KJV].) Fortunately, others do differ in their interpretations.
Robert Paul Howard
Let’s see:
fall out shelter – check
duct tape – check
plastic sheeting – check
carbon monoxide detector – check
mood ring – check
phrenology map – check
hurricane insurance – check
Armor of God PJs – check
bullet-proof vest – check
Farmer’s Almanack – check
Ready for superstition!
Edward, you forgot the shotgun. Or better, an Uzi. If you’re going to have a bullet-proof vest, you really need to be able to return fire. More sporting that way.
oh, but guns are actually effective
pics of Belly dancers – check
I’m sorry I hadn’t checked in for a while.
Glad that the Armor of God pj’s were a hit! I can’t wait for the blanket! Or, better yet, a belly dancer blanket! Yeah!