Goatonapole is my new favorite revelation

Goatonpole

Recently I got an email alerting me to a revelation: Goat on a Pole.

Praise Goat. And Pole.

For I have learned there is nothing else to know, no greater mystery to decipher, no image of reality better worth contemplating.

From the Holy Goatonapole web site:

"Goatonapole is the philosophy of being that holds that there is a Goat
and a Pole and that the Goat is on the Pole. In the relation of Goat
and Pole we Goatonapolists find an eternal thread of unfathomable
cosmic significance, a point of reference in which all opposites
dissolve into a unity of infinite breadth, a universal truth underlying
the very fabric of existence. Upon contemplation of the Goat, the Pole,
and their relative positions, one cannot help but realize that we've
always been talking about Goatonapole. Whether we accept, reject, or
live in ignorance of Goatonapole, we are all Goatonapolists."

I haven't absorbed all of the wisdom of Goatonapole yet. But already this passage has filled me with a marvelous sense of yesness.

We as conscious beings are the product of innumerably
many acts of balance, new being arising out of extant being and
perpetuating its improbable existence upon the substrate of its
progenitors. To picture the place of your consciousness in the
universe, one must imagine countless goats stacked one upon another, a
new goat constantly replacing the uppermost goat as the height of the
pole increases. As the Goat-raising progresses, the lower goats cease
to be goats and become all one improbably tall pole on which sits a
single goat. This is the Goat-raising in its essence.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

What could be more true? And…any more incomprehensible? Naturally it is the sense of huh? and what the fuck? stimulated in me by Goatonapology that leads me to believe in it so deeply.

Goat and Pole work in mysterious ways. That the teachings of Goatonapole are cryptic — some would blaspheme and say "non-sensical" — is the best evidence of their validity.

Further, I've received an indisputable sign from Goat and Pole to embrace their truth. This very morning, as I was pondering the possibility of writing this blog post, I was drawn to pick up a copy of "The Essential Teachings of Zen Master Hakuin" and found this verse:

Perched motionless at the tip of a hundred-foot pole
The man has attainment, but he hasn't made it real.
He must advance one more step beyond the tip,
Reveal his whole body in the ten directions.

Ah, is this not a foreshadowing of the most blessed Ten Goat Herding Pictures? Here's #7:

Revelation7

Interestingly, my email correspondent said:

"A couple of people whom I sent that website about the goat took it seriously.  Am I misinterpreting something?  I had found myself laughing out loud and really enjoying how the site was put together.  Is it possible that it's for real?  I guess in this day and age with so much wacko stuff out there, it could be for real. Yikes."

Yes, yikes

As for how real Goatonapole is, that's for you, Goat, and Pole to decide.


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3 Comments

  1. tucson

    Before I join I want to know if the Goatonapole will fuck me up. That would really get my goat.

  2. Roger

    “For I have learned there is nothing else to know, no greater mystery to decipher, no image of reality better worth contemplating.”
    —Tucson, has Brian seen your pic of a girl holding a beer? If not, then the above statement is false!!!!!!!

  3. George

    unclear thinking does not make it profound, merely unclear.
    goat on a pole resounds with a big ‘no-ness’ for me, the most interesting aspect appears to be that picture of the goat on the pole.

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