Here's a story from someone who found a dark, deep place within himself which taught him a lot. It was emailed to me, then edited a bit by the author when I told the person "I'd like to share what you wrote on my blog."
I enjoyed the honest clear writing. Also, how switching seats on an airplane was an enlightening experience. I've divided the story into two pieces because it is fairly long. Click on the "continue reading" link to read the last part.
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Brian, I ran across your site when researching surat shabd yoga. I wanted to find opposing opinions and there you were. I was greatly disturbed when I saw that you had zero results after a lifetime of effort. Even more disturbing were the testimonies of others who had also followed this path and came up short. So sad but true.
I’m 58 yrs old and have spent decades reading about religions. I rejected my own Christianity when young because of its demand that I accept Jesus as my personal savior and if I don’t I’m going to hell. I was nowhere near comfortable with the original sin, the bloody crucifixion and all the rest. I felt drawn to the Eastern beliefs. Intellectually I recognized that if anything was true it had to be reincarnation and karma. Such a simple elegant system which actually accounts for everything we see — the pain, suffering, brutality, etc.
At one point I asked myself, “Who were the first gods worshiped?” From there I spent years in the Sumerian cuneiform translations; today I feel as comfortable with An, Enlil and Enki as with any other gods. I followed these gods forward in time through all their changes in the Akkadian, Assyrian, Babylonian and Persian cultures.
Which led me on a different path, that which is called “alternative history.” The idea that in remote times there was a very high civilization of which we modern humans have no record of. Everyone knows of this “myth” from Plato’s description of Atlantis. What I found so fascinating was that there does exist a considerable amount of physical evidence for such a civilization.
The idea is that our earliest civilizations, Sumer and Egypt, were legacy civilizations which had possession of so called “secret” knowledge from this earlier civilization but, as time went by, lost the understanding of what they preserved. And thus we find the Egyptian beliefs, the Greek mystery religions, the gnostic Christians and even today surat shabd yoga preserving, yet perhaps not understanding, what they have. As crazy as it may sound to you that’s the idea.
So, this is how I became interested in surat shabd yoga, certainly not your typical spiritual journey although for me it has indeed been just that. I only want the “truth.” I don’t care about anything else, only the truth.
I see hard evidence in our known history for some sort of understanding, a development, quite likely spiritual in nature, of which we do not understand today. Amazingly enough, it appears to me that surat shabd yoga “may” be a degraded form of that ancient system. In particular I was struck with the similarities between the gnostic Christians and surat shabd yoga. I’m sure you’re aware of this, perhaps through legitimate scholars such as Andrea Diem-Lane (Gnostic Mystery) or others.
Sorry to bore you with such a long introduction but I did want you to know that I’m not a typical seeker — I have no religion — my only drive is for “the truth.”
Recently I had a mystical experience which has strengthened my beliefs. This was an “intervention from above” and it occurred through no deliberate effort of my own. It was something bigger in nature which presented “the truth” to me in a clear straight forward fashion. Of course my having such an experience has no direct relevance for you; you may brush it aside as a temporal fantasy.
For me it was as real as anything in all my life and it has had a staggering effect upon me. In short, this experience was a karmic judgment of two events in my life. I was presented these two life events alongside each other and I understood why they happened.
My reaction, against the injustice against me, in each case was clearly visible and this was the reason for the presentation — to show me how I failed to measure up to perfection. I was not there to defend myself, it was not a trial. I said nothing but only understood. I had no questions because it was all clear — there was nothing to say. It was, to me, the Egyptian ceremony of the Weighing of the Heart. I was measured against perfection and came up short.
I’ve attached below a document which I wrote shortly after this experience. The overriding understanding I’ve taken away is simply the truth of reincarnation and karma. There is something bigger in nature, call it god if you like, and there are laws which govern this life as well as a purpose to it all.
Just like you I have spent a lifetime seeking but in my own way. Please note that it was all black, there were no lights or sounds and such. I was unconscious of my body and absolutely all thoughts ceased. But like surat shabd yoga beliefs it was, literally, as if I had died.
Regards, mK
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