Way back when, Garrison Keillor said about his fictional locale, Lake Woebegone, “all the children are above average.” This reflects the neuroscientific fact that most people consider themselves to be better drivers than average, more loving and compassionate than average, and in general, above average in lots of areas.
Which is mathematically impossible, of course. For every person above average, there has to be another person below average.
This seems to also apply to the general notion of how much we know. Most of us, me certainly included, like to believe that we know a great deal about many things. However, when I look at my life as dispassionately as possible, trying to separate out what is actually true from what I like to believe is true, I’m confronted with much more not-knowing than I usually assume is present in my mind.
This is difficult stuff to talk about, because so much of what goes on in the human mind is unconscious. But it seems to me that a major source of my customary feeling of knowing what’s going on in my life comes from self-talk derived from a basic assumption that what I think will happen, actually will happen.
Meaning, I wake up, envision what is on the day’s to-do list, and have a comforting feeling that I know how things are going to happen today. Problem is, that rarely happens. There’s always surprises. Something else comes up. I change my mind. An unexpected phone call, email, or whatever pushes me in a different direction.
I’m terrible at predicting what is going to happen. But I constantly tell myself, “This is what’s going to happen.”
For those who grew up in the age of the Peanuts comic strip, I’m like Charlie Brown who believes that Lucy is going to hold the football so he can kick it, but that never happens, even when Lucy tells him what’s going to happen. Life is a lot like Lucy. It keeps on surprising us, yet we don’t stop believing we know what life will bring.
It feels good to think that we’re in control. Of our health. Of our relationships. Of our happiness. Of our work. And if we’re religious, of our afterlife and connection to God. However, actually all of these things are largely, if not entirely, out of our control.
Cancer can strike us unpredictably. A marriage can fall apart unexpectedly. Sadness can arise out of nowhere. Layoffs and firings can surprise us. What happens after death is a complete mystery, and God may be a fantasy.
I’m not saying that our illusory sense of knowing and being in control is a bad thing. We wouldn’t have that sense if it didn’t serve a useful purpose. Optimism and confidence flourish when we have an attitude of “I can handle this.”
And yet…
There’s also a pleasure in waving the white flag and saying, “I surrender.” To what actually is happening. To a reality that is far beyond our ability to comprehend. To an uncertain future. To an imperfectly remembered past.
I’m not at all sure about my memories and anticipations. But the present moment, now, seems to be much more open to my knowing. Which is why mindfulness in all of its varied forms seems so attractive to me, even as I fail to practice it much of the time.
Anything could happen in the next instant. I could have a sudden heart attack and drop dead. The Big One earthquake could strike and leave me buried under the remains of our house. The phone might ring with the news that someone has died and left me a billon dollars because they liked this blog. (Hey, I can dream.)
But this moment now, that has a reassuring solidity to it. It is 100% predictable that what I’m experiencing right now is actually happening. Even if I’m in a Matrix’ish simulation that is more like a dream than reality, this right here and right now is still happening.
I may not know a lot. Yet I do know that I’m typing these final words.
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The topic of what we can know hinges on my years of inquiry into the age-old philosophical question of ‘who or what am I’, which primarily covered investigation into identity and self. So, the inquiry broadened into what can and cannot be honestly known about this ‘who am l’ issue. I think early reading of people like Krishnamurti, Alan Watts and some Zen and Taoist writings ruffled my comfort zone, but, true to human nature, I thought I knew anyway – particularly in ‘knowing’ that there is no self!
Brian describes well the arrogance of those who ‘know’: – “However, when I look at my life as dispassionately as possible, trying to separate out what is actually true from what I like to believe is true, I’m confronted with much more not-knowing than I usually assume is present in my mind.”
That’s the difference, believing and knowing. Nowadays (for example) I would not say that there is no ‘self’, rather that such an entity cannot be found – apart from the concept of such a thing that obviously derives from a whole lot of assimilated information giving a strong sense of a ‘me’ – separate from all the messy biological stuff.
Obviously, we can know and need to know many things such as the practical maters in the ‘how to’ realm, but generally the ‘how’, ‘who’, ‘what’ and ‘why’ of things is, particularly in response to questions of why we are here, who/what created life and the universe, and consciousness etc., are unknown and therefore candidates to enter the realms of conjecture and speculation.
All that is left is what Brian writes about here: – “But this moment now, that has a reassuring solidity to it. It is 100% predictable that what I’m experiencing right now is actually happening. Even if I’m in a Matrix’ish simulation that is more like a dream than reality, this right here and right now is still happening.”
“What’s past is prologue,” said the Bard. I think critics of religion and politics are quite right to look to the past for clues to what the future holds. (But only clues, for the past never quite repeats itself.)
Anyway, critics of RSSB may enjoy (as I am) watching the recent HBO series Breath of Fire. It’s about the Yogi Bhajan 3HO sect, a religious organization that’s similar to RSSB.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breath_of_Fire_(TV_series)
Even this moment now is a construction of the brain.
Part of not growing conscious awareness is the insistance on reliability. People don’t like unknown, and plan carefully to avoid it.
A to-do list is incredibly helpful for self-discovery. But more than that, actively tracking what got done, what didn’t, and what else happened.
If you get 100% of your to-do items done you are heavy in denial. Other more important Now stuff was going on inside you and around you.
We can grow our awareness.
And then, interesting things happen. More important things break through. Things that really reflect greater truths than the tiny events of our life. Those tiny things are nothing like 100% and don’t deserve that kind of dependency.
Spence. I would say that the present moment is not a construct of the brain, more accurately it is the reality which is continuously being presented to the brain in every moment of which the brain may (or may not) be conscious of.
I would also say that awareness (consciousness) doesn’t grow, more that it is a set feature of a brain. The brain though, can, through experience and knowledge, be extended to recognise or be aware of other options and choices.
Hi Ron
The present moment is indeed a mental conception. You take in what you can deal with. You stamp it. You label it Now. When it comes to you perceptually you might say it’s Now. But you could be looking at a recording replayed. Is that now? Now only is a thing because you distinguish it from yesterday, from ten minutes ago, from memories and old hopes you think you have put aside, and from your remaining or new hopes for the future. The ability to remember gives you the basis to claim anything isn’t memory. But it might just be. It usually is. We see what we want to see. So we may be seeing the past and calling it Now. Just a label. Now happened a very long time ago Ron. Everything else is just a mirror of the past.
Astronomers look deep into the sky, and the further away they look, the deeper into the past they are looking. But the part they see happened long ago.
And it’s the dame with you and I. All we see is a mirror of a distant past.
If you want to catch up to Now, it’s practically hopeless, because all mental concepts need to go. The moment you conceive, you have infected Now with mind, with memory, work conditioning. Until that is all you see and experience, your past, you’re conditioning, your desires.
That’s all minf, Ron. Not Now. There are many many people living in the past who think they are living in the present moment. It’s just absence of awareness.
Ron, the battle cry of the mind is “Not Now!”
I’m basking in the glow of my lack of knowledge. It’s blissful.
Hi again, Spence. You say: – “Now only is a thing because you distinguish it from yesterday, from ten minutes ago, from memories and old hopes you think you have put aside, and from your remaining or new hopes for the future.”
Spence, whatever arises in consciousness arises now (in the present moment), whether it’s recordings of past memories or hopes for the future; all are arising now; it can’t be otherwise. All you, me or anyone else, can only ever be certain of is what you are experiencing now, even, as I say, it is past memories or future projections – all are arising now, in present moment consciousness.
Right now, is indisputable. All one can do is to mentally avoid the obvious reality of now by making up some concept, some abstract idea that attempts to explain it away. Now can appear threatening as any thought, idea, opinion etc., can only fall into the realm of conjecture, belief or wishful thinking and as such can never be truly known. All one can truly say about any thought constructed idea, opinion or belief is “I don’t know – though I’d like it to be real.”
As Brian summed up: “But this moment now, that has a reassuring solidity to it. It is 100% predict-able that what I’m experiencing right now is actually happening.” That’s all we can ever say for certain that we ‘know’.
This Yogi Bhajan sect expose’ (HBO’s Breath of Fire) brought me back to the eternal question of this forum and all the other religious criticism forums I’ve participated in: What makes people staunch believers in a particular religious sect or guru?
The expose’ made me reflect on my limited experiences with the Yogi Bhajan 3HO group. I was never a member, but I read some of the YB books. Yogi Bhajan never impressed me, which is strange in a way, given that I found other Sikh and yoga related sects attractive at that time. There was just something about the guy that didn’t inspire my enthusiasm. Yet there were many Sikh Dharma people in my area, and I used to wonder what it was about Bhajan that they found so compelling that they dressed like ultra orthodox Punjabi Sikhs. I also wasn’t jazzed that the Kundalini yoga books were $25. That was a lot of money for a paperback book in 1980! Almost $100 today.
But then with the expose’, I learn that Yogi Bhajan was far worse of a human being than I or his followers ever imagined. If you think any of the gurus of RSSB are bad guys, then watch this HBO series. Compared to Yogi Bhajan, Gurinder is a true saint. The amount of sacrifice and suffering by 3HO folks for their guru is astounding. In return, they got nothing but abuse, not only to themselves but to their children. And yet they remained loyal to Yogi Bhajan for decades.
What makes a person persist in loyalty when all evidence indicates they’re wrong?
There was a 3Ho ashram in the 1970s my girlfriend and I frequented classes and released the Kundalini. Now years later I think that it’s hard to put back in the bottle once you release it. That was before I discovered rssb. The local guru of Kundalini was Ojus and he also ran a bakery. We ate with him and his wife regularly after class and there might have been other offers on the table but we were young and weren’t interested. I never had any bad experience going or leaving any ashram or spiritual organization. That Kundalini will wear you out learning the postures. Anyway that’s something you should do while you’re young like drug addiction is if you’re going to do it at all. Just save alcoholism for old age. Wonderful experiences with rssb before the guru showed who he really was but that didn’t stop me from getting in touch with the guru inside. And it’s better looking.
Definitely a sweeter Voice on the inside . The radiant forms.
Hi Ron
I appreciate what you are saying.
“whatever arises in consciousness arises now (in the present moment), whether it’s recordings of past memories or hopes for the future; all are arising now; it can’t be otherwise.”
The problem with this definition of now is that it is all inclusive, and so circular. There is nothing that isn’t ” now” by that definition. And therefore whether we are living in the past, the future or the present is just a matter of memory and perception. The idea that you and Brian like, that living in the “Now” gives you peace of mind is your concept of “Now”. A concept that let’s you dismiss, ignore and denegrate some thoughts in favor of others, by your own selection.
Your concept of “Now” hardly includes all that is happening. It doesn’t even include all that perceptual information coming in. It just includes what your brain has selected, augmented, filtered.
You think the physical world is so easy to distinguish from your own imagination? It is always a compounded, filtered and twisted amalgamation, always ppart memory always part imagination, always highlighting and even changing into what you desire, what you hate; and what you have no interest in at all which your mind makes invisible. But it’s right there in this physical world.
Even the notion of cause and effect, of one moment before or after another is a convenient way to conceptualize something far more complex.
Just imagine for a moment something different than what you have chosen to imagine as “Now”. Remember how you used to think? Than recall your current thinking. You believe you have grown from experience. But you have only changed. And maybe not at all. If “Now” is all that is, maybe you are remembering it wrong, or seeing it wrong. Generally that’s the case.
If someone could plant a memory of the past into your brain how would you know the difference? If now is all that is, then you can’t say you got here. That never was. You can only say you find yourself planted here now, conditioned this way, unable to know one moment from another.
The mind invents. But as much as the mind invents, reality is far more complex.
The reassuring solidarity of the concept of “Now” is a false harbor.
I say be hounded by your past. Be tormented by it. Be crushed and utterly destroyed by it. Let it happen.
Welcome the past into your house, make it your sister or brother, you husband or wife, your judge, jury and executioner. Accept it, embrace it.
Because it is more powerful than you.
Your only power is light. But you can’t apply that light when you are caught up in your own dark thinking, which that past controls. It is your master.
Accept it, explore it, give it some serious attention. Then it will evaporate.
You live in the present automatically without force or artificial mind games only when you really understand and live with your past.
Trying to put it in a box, trying to dissect the past has no part in understanding. That is the opposite, denial.
Go through the pain of embracing it, and observing it, and giving your past its own right to exist, it’s own legitimate voice.
It will never go away. But it will take its proper place. Then you can move on. But you can’t move on without understanding, and that doesn’t happen by wallpapering the past with current pleasantries, or trying to kill the past with mental gunfire. Let it live.
The arrow you fire into your enemy’s chest pierces your own heart.
@ Spence
The things you write might be said maybe to a person in front of you, looking him or her in the eyes, having heard and digested rheir story of life … but not to an anonymus audience
Hi Um
Are you now the “anonymous audience” police?
OK, tell me, did the Anonymous Audience enjoy their coffee this morning? Did they see anything interesting in the news today?
@ Spence
Surprise surprise .. I had to read your reaction twice to convince myself that it was yours … have coffee Spence and forget my words.
If there’s no Self, then there’s no Now either. Thanks, Spence. That’s a help.