A few days ago I wrote my first post about Shigehiro Oishi's book, Life in Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration, and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life. For a thoughtful review of the book by Sebastiano Mancin, click here.
Here's a second post about Oishi's call for adding psychological richness to the commonly heard dimensions of a full life, happiness and meaning.
He argues that while we all crave happiness, this longing can be a trap.
The happiness trap has two faces. First, there is the pressure to be happy, which makes feeling sadness, anger, and anguish seem undesirable and alienating. And yet it is not possible to avoid negative emotions. When you miss a train, when someone criticizes you, when your child shows no sign of gratitude for what you do, you feel bad. It is only natural.
…People who feel pressure to be happy will try almost anything to repair their moods. Some people do very healthy things, like exercise and hiking, while others do very unhealthy things, like over-drinking or impulsive shopping.
…In contrast those who don't feel pressure to be happy would not do as much to repair a negative mood, as they think it is only natural to feel bad once in a while. Here there is more emotional acceptance. These people believe that time heals everything. And they are right.
…The second element of the happiness trap is that happiness is actually easier to attain if you don't want too much of it. The social psychologist Barry Schwartz found the power of "good enough." If you are the type of person who often accepts "good enough," also known as a "satisficer" — one who sacrifices the best choice for a satisfactory choice — you are much more likely to be happy with your decisions.
…Does this mean that we should promote the satisficer mindset over the maximizer mindset? I don't think so. There is an important place in life for the satisficer mindset. I actively use it when I am buying something, planning something, or making everyday decisions. But this mindset can have a dark side as well.
For instance, it makes you content with the status quo, which in turn discourages you from embracing necessary challenges and personal growth. This is the second part of the happiness trap: settling for less than you can achieve. Heed the warning of John, the "Savage" in Brave New World, who said, "Well, I'd rather be unhappy than have the sort of false, lying happiness you were having here."
Oishi also argues that while we all crave meaning in our life, this too can trap us.
Meaning in life is typically defined by significance, purpose, and coherence. First, a meaningful life is a life that maters. It matters not just to one's family members and friends, but also to strangers. A meaningful life is a life that makes a difference in the world.
Second, a meaningful life has a clear purpose. A person who leads a meaningful life knows where they are going. There is a clear sense of direction and a guiding principle. Third, a meaningful life is well organized. All of a person's divergent experiences fit together under their own guiding principles.
…Needless to say, a meaningful life sounds a lot more appealing than a meaningless one. Thus, people say you should find a reason for living — whether via career, religion, social roles (e.g., parenthood), scientific discovery, or social change.
When we think of people who live meaningful lives, we might think of those who have done great things, like Dr. Donna Adams-Pickett, Michelle Obama, or Barack Obama — the kind of people who give graduation speeches! These are extraordinary achievements. These people are heroes.
However, these accomplishments are so rare that it's hard to imagine ever achieving such feats. Like the happiness trap, there is also a meaning trap. The first element of the meaning trap is that the type of accomplishment associated with a meaningful like is so grand that aiming for it will set us up for a failure.
…The second element of the meaning trap is that people tend to misunderstand what is required. These images of heroes with supersized ambitions do not necessarily fit with the research findings. Although many people think that the number of people who lead a meaningful life is small, survey data show that, in fact, most people say they do have a meaningful life.
…Like the happiness trap, the meaning trap has two parts. First, for the majority of us who have not invented anything or participated in the Peace Corps, it is easy to feel like a failure in the face of the call to be great. Pressure to make a difference in the world can be emotionally taxing, just like the pressure to be happy.
…The second part of the meaning trap is that the pursuit of a meaningful life can promote a narrow viewpoint. As research shows, meaning in life is sometimes attained through prosocial behaviors toward a small ingroup, and antisocial behavior or apathy toward outgroups. If you lead a meaningful life in narrow sense, you might want to consider expanding your perspective.
Clearly, there's nothing wrong with seeking happiness and meaning. Probably every person does this. However, Oishi makes a persuasive case in his book for adding psychological richness as a third dimension to life that helps us avoid the traps inherent in seeking happiness and meaning.
Decades of psychological research, including some of my own studies, have undoubtedly established happiness and meaning as paths to a good life with countless benefits. Yet by limiting ourselves to these two paths, we have put a good life out of reach for too many.
There is another way to achieve a good life. It may not be stable or comfortable, but it is exhilarating. It may not be filled with contentment, but it is dramatic. It has ups and downs, twists and turns, and by the end of the ride it offers a life with fewer regrets; a life of adventure, playfulness, spontaneity, serendipity, and learning — in other words, a life rich in experiences.
This third way to a good life is the psychologically rich life, and it is a way to transcend the happiness and meaning traps.
…Simplifying one's life so as to have reliably positive experiences, or contentment, is key to happiness. Dedicating one's life to others with compassion is key to meaning. Experiencing the unusual, challenging oneself, and learning new things — though frustrating and unpleasant at times — are key to psychological richness.
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Just be a good student. All richness comes from discovery.
But you can’t learn when you are always creating a narrative, living in one’s own echo chamber.
The echo chamber is telling people no one is starving in Gaza. That they are creating a peace loving community just like the Nazis did to the Jews. I don’t understand why the pope, why Gurinder ,why the dalai lama aren’t all standing at the gates of Gaza today , physically there with their bodyguards.
You should be happy that the first official Radha Soami American master is commenting on anything. Either that or Gurinderji is a liar.
“Don’t be a philosophy professor who just eats the words, eat the food too.”- Ajahn Brahm
You know I love to tell people that when I’m meditate I’m meditate but when I’m commenting I’m focused on commenting okay. I’ll get my own blog if the bastard isn’t a liar. We won’t know till he dies he’s disrespected me that much already each day he lives.
But kudos to Brian Hines because you heard it here first. Not on the official rssb because he’s not dead yet. That was always the plan so I’m not making it up after he dies. I’m not a self-proclaiming anything. There won’t be Church. It’ll be my way or the highway.
@Donald
It would not surprise me if there will be appointed more than just one in the USA.
David Lane has a pdf on RS successions.
Oishi: – “…Simplifying one’s life so as to have reliably positive experiences, or contentment, is key to happiness. Dedicating one’s life to others with compassion is key to meaning. Experiencing the unusual, challenging oneself, and learning new things — though frustrating and unpleasant at times — are key to psychological richness.”
Happiness is derivative: Some might seek happiness by going to the coast and just sitting and looking out to sea; for others, happiness may involve swimming or surfing the sea. We may aim for happiness in some way, but there is no guarantee it will occur. Perhaps, better to just to ‘be there’ when it arrives.
Meaning: Why do we seek, project or invest meaning onto anything. Is it a survival thing where we need to assign intent when encountering say a person, a creature, a situation or a concept. Early humans, to feel secure, needed to invest meaning into natural phenomenon via Gods, demons etc. The religious person needs his/her Gods to explain why they exist; how to live; and where they are going after death. Basically, if we need to assign meaning, perhaps we could just say life is its own meaning.
The Psychological Rich Life: Not sure about this. Oishi says: – “The more interesting experiences and stories you have, the more psychologically rich you are.” That seems to me a recipe for maintaining the me, the self. One becomes psychologically rich, full of self-aggrandising experiences that strengthen rather than understanding the self-structure.
As with happiness, meaning and psychologically rich, all can be products of the mind and if the mind is one of confusion, then these three states can also be part of that confusion. My thinking would be that it is initially the mind that needs sorting out with all its information – and mis-information.
Ok, here’s where I was coming from, as far as my previous comment (in the other thread). This, where you describe Oishi’s message as a “call for adding psychological richness to the commonly heard dimensions of a full life”:
I disagree with what Oishi seems to imagine is the “commonly heard dimensions of a full life”. I’ve never sat down sussing this particular issue out: but if you’d asked me what are the factors that play a role in the making of a life lived fully, then without a shadow of a doubt I’d have added those factors that go for making up what Oishi describes as “psychological richness”.
I disagree that Oishi is introducing anything new here. Is where I’m coming from.
But I still think Oishi’s framework is meaningful, even though it does not introduce anything new at all, because it helps break up what I’d demarcate as the factors of a life lived fully, into these two separate columns on the right hand side. That added analytical depth is a cool tool for better analyzing and understanding our life choices vis-à-vis our own predilections. To that extent, absolutely, I find this a cool tool. …But, again, I disagree that Oishi’s introducing anything new here, even though he himself seems to imagine he is.
———-
A more concise TLDR/clarification on the above:
I think Oishi’s describing “meaning in life” in far more restricted terms than what I, at any rate, might (spontaneously and without deep thinking over it) describe it as. And to that stunted restricted description of meaning he’s adding this psychological depth thingie, as if he’s introducing something novel. When in fact he isn’t saying anything new at all (at least if my own native instinctual thinking on this is at all representative of people at large).
That said, his dividing “meaning” into those two separate silos does add analytical depth. Seen in those terms, as simply adding analytical depth, sure, his structure has value. But in terms of introducing something new and novel, I’m afraid it doesn’t.
———-
This reservation aside — and I’m afraid it’s a reservation that goes to the crux of what Oishi’s saying, and waters down the worth of it all, but still — in general terms, certainly I’m finding this discussion, and Oishi’s formulations, interesting reading.
Um I hope at least one is a woman and I can just live off of her like I have been living off of Gurinder’s good looks for so long , It’s all part of the succession plan.Plus a woman will be able better to deal with that fool in India, he might leave more than one there too. He’s kind of like Johnny Appleseed isn’t he.
Just read Mancin’s review of Oishi’s book, that you linked to in your main article/post. Interesting read.
I’m sorry this is weighing so heavy on my mind I thought by posting things like that here that I would take the suspicion away that he’s just appointing relatives with business experience and it’s all about nepotism and possibly even incest but we won’t know until the final curtain. I do feel sorry for Jasdeep that he’s just being used as a buffer for all the many enemies Gurinder has created ,mostly in India . He’s the one when I asked him about what kind of turban I should wear he replied, “ this isn’t turbans R us ! “Except like the toy store. I for the longest time wondered why people were running to India like it was the Haj once a year .It seems more like a tourist destinations by upwardly mobile yuppies.
Instead of car darshan I’m drawing the line and I’m gonna do dog and pony darshan. Don’t worry I’ll never initiate one single person. According to him I won’t have to, he’s gonna take care of it from beyond the grave. It’s more like a Gothic nightmare than a path.I told him where to stick that job on day one.
Gurinder can be quite charming at times just like most narcissists But seriously when I asked him OK I’ve got the beard covered now what about a turban? And he answered That “this isn’t Turbans” Я “ Us” . In fact the radiant form I saw Of the master inside during meditation wasn’t wearing a turban at all. His hair was down.I did tell him this and his standard answer like always was. Don’t analyze. So like all of the questions he gets, mine went half answered and in an evasive manner if at all. That’s a big news though. The radiant form of the master doesn’t wear a turban. You old-timers like Jim should know what I’m talking about.
“ I don’t ever want to die.” Gurinder Singh Dhillon. Don’t worry I’m not gonna let you die with any secrets or anything.
@ Donald,
I can’t believe I’m actually trying to make sense of all your ramblings here.
But it seems to me that;
Are you suggesting you are going to be appointed RSSB Guru for the USA once Baba Gurinder Singh decides to leave his body?
I have personally suffered from schizophrenia and mental delusional tendency in the past. And during that period, I actually thought I was a Master of sorts. I even told Baba-Ji that I was ready to take on his role, many years ago in Singapore. I fancied the idea of sitting on a lazy boy chair answering questions with my superpowers.
Prior to expressing myself to Baba-Ji about wanting to be a Master, I did inform him I was on psychiatric medication.
And after I told him that I was ready to take on his role, his response was, “that is why you are on medication.”
He also did say something to the extent that, “all of us here need to see a psychiatrist and that we all need medication.”
I’m sorry to say this to you Donald, but may be you need to seek some form of help.
That, or you are just trolling all of us.
Best wishes to you.
@Donald
Are you implying that you are going to be the spiritual head of RSSB for the USA region?
It’s really hard to make sense of your ramblings.
Are you just another troll, spamming the comments section with mad nothings (?)
Donald? BabaDon?
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ngVUksgzlKjPS2vkwHz98kUjQ1k7NYZJ/view?usp=drivesdk
@Donald, ….you wrote”,…..” The radiant form of the master doesn’t wear a turban. You old-timers like Jim should know what I’m talking about.”
Well, Sir,….The Radiant Form who came to me, during a successful meditation, definitly WAS wearing his turban. Plus, he WAS using his same accented voice to address me, as he used , in all of his , and hundreds of Q & A cassettes . PLUS, he TOUCHED me, on my right shoulder! PLUS, he addressed a physical condition I had, that no one knew about, other than my Wife, that I had never told any one, INCLUDING HIM!
I have been asked if I challenged him by using the 5 Names,…but truthfully, it never in the least, occurred to me, even had I remembered any 5 names at that time. I never needed any proof that some fake Astral imposter was trying to hood wink me in to doing some thing that would damage my physical body. In fact, I immediately did what Charan suggested I do, and my physical condition subsided well enough that I was able to visit the Dera my first time ever. But that’s a story, in itself, that had a definite purpose for my personal Eternal Journey.
So, perhaps the turbanless long haired Hippie you are seeing in your meditation ,very well could be one of those fake gurus described in David Lane’s book,…..”The Masters Have No Turbans.” Regardless, mine had one.
@ Jim S.
Have you ever heard of somebody being told by the inner master that even THEY did not know???
We have divinity within us, IMHO.
If that is true, and you find and see that, you’ve accomplished something. If not, you can get help. Most of us need a lot of help.
But if you don’t find that divinity within yourself and for whatever reason don’t wish any help, then maybe the time hasn’t come just yet.
When you pursue, when you seek, first seek the inner existence for that is where you actually live. And do it as a good student, be there to learn. Put aside your complaints and opinions. What is is. But there are incredible things there worth finding, far more valuable than our ideas, opinions, beliefs notions.
It’s not about believing anyone else’s ideas. But it’s not about rejecting them either. It’s about making use of other’s philosophy to find your own. Now that’s not the same as inventing your own. It’s about internal discovery.
External travels can help us separate our ideas about life by seeing how others live differently. So that richness has a purpose getting ourselves out of our limited thinking.
But simply, quietly withdrawing from our thinking can also do this.
At some point we must withdraw, or run the risk of just replacing one set of opinions with another.
So, be a good student. Listen twice, no, six times, no, six times six before speaking.
All bliss, even the music of heaven and the tale of the higher regions is there. The concert begins when we silent ourselves.
If you see the Buddha on the road, greet them as a good friend, even as a good host. Be nice to them. Invite them for tea and have a nice conversation about life and love, destiny and learning. Then let them continue on.
They were there for a moment, but they are also within you. If you enjoyed their company, find them within.
All the really great people can be found there. It’s the place to be.
That man that said or was said to be a king
That man that said or was said to be a buddha
That man that said or was said to be a a great man
That man that said or was said to be A
were all human
I was not born to be my parents son, nor a brother, nephew but in this life I had that role and nobody can say whether my performance was good or bad
And the list of roles goes on and on and I was not born for any of them but in this life I had that role and nobody can say whether my performance was good or bad
Nor was I born to know what can be known, or have what can be had
I was born I live and will die one day like everything else that is born lives a while and dies
Without change for the better
No crow has ever become an eagle
Hi UM:
Not every crow understands what it is, what it did long ago in days past, what it is doing every day, or what it will do one day.
Crow sees a nest and says “How did that get there?”
Crow sees children in the nest and says “They just happened”
Crow sees food, eats, forgets their happiness while eating and later feels full and says “How did I get so full?”
And when it becomes hungry it says “My stomach is empty. Was it ever full, I don’t recall? Oh well, I’m hungry, that’s just the way it is. It was always this way and always will be.”
Thank God you and I are not crows!
🙂
Everything that is born, lives and dies live out what they are born with, both in side and outside.
Nobody will know why it was so to be, nor can anybody say whether they performed good or bad
@ Spence
everything is an unique variation of the same
The uniqueness expands horizontal and vertical
The uniqueness expands in the uniqueness itself from moment to moment
All the time the sameness remains what it is.
The crow will never become anything other than a crow
Reason for the god of the bible to say … that it was good as a crow
Have close look Spence:
https://stockcake.com/i/mystical-blue-raven_1483590_1163384
For those who are unfamiliar with the Gog and Magog comment from Donald, …..I once preached Bible End Time sermons, regarding Gog and Magog. 50 years ago, we would argue who those Characters, Countries were. And where the Battle of Armageddon would occur, and when. But since there doesn’t appear to be any Bible scholars in this Atheist Churchless Church,…..I won’t cast any of my Wisdom Pearls here, but will just comment, that things are definitely heating up quickly in that Middle East area.
This current podcast should be a real eye openers, for the Israel and America haters.
https://youtu.be/0nsgCE4HC0U
Thank you Jim Sutherland. Now why couldn’t Babaji have just said that. It actually could have been Swamiji himself I saw who used to tie his hair to a hook during meditation so when he nodded it would wake him back up ,spent 17 years doing that with no guru. Yes Tej I’m more than implying it that’s what I was told. Told by your luxurious guru if it’s Gurinderji. Of course it could have been Jesus but who’s analyzing.
Thank you Jim Sutherland, now why couldn’t Gurinder have just said something like that. That’s why I asked. A very pleasant and beautiful vision nonetheless. It could have been Jesus. Or since judging from the position it could have been Swamiji himself who meditated with his hair tied to a hook on the wall so that when he nodded his hair would be pulled and he’d wake back up and meditate some more. Did that for 17 years without a guru as I recall. Did it so all of our meditation could be easy. It could have been him. I was just asking. Thank you I’ve heard of radiant forms of other sorts and I’ve had radiant forms of other varieties. I prefer total darkness.And Tej I’m more than implying it ,I’ve been spelling it out!
When I say Gurinder said I’m talking about he said in texting , not inside. I’m not having some imaginary conversation with imaginary friends. In fact when I told Gurinder that my friends call me Donald not Don. He said okay Don. The dude is strictly business I get it but I’m wondering if he knows anything about meditation.
@Jim Sutherland
Jim, I hear you. What you experienced was very real for you, but it’s important to remember that all dreams, visions, and imagination are ultimately creations of our own mind. Our mind knows everything about us—even things we don’t consciously share with anyone—so it’s not surprising that experiences in meditation can reflect back such personal details.
Sometimes we also see things in dreams or imagination that come from our unconscious mind, even if we were never aware of them consciously. So whether it is a Master with a turban or without a turban, it is all part of the mind’s own play of imagination.
Any form of meditation is valuable, as it calms the mind, improves focus, and can even help improve physical conditions. But these benefits come from the practice itself, which is part of yoga and natural mind-body processes—not because of some proclaimed Guru.
And as for the turban image—both GSD and J. Gill used to wear turbans before becoming “Baba,” but they also trimmed their beards and didn’t grow them long until after their names were announced as the next masters. That raises a question: was this truly a spiritual necessity, or simply an effort to reflect the traditional image of Sikh Gurus in Punjab, where long beards are associated with holiness and authority? To me, it looks more like an adopted appearance to fit expectations rather than an inherent spiritual marker.
So while the form you saw may have had meaning for you personally, the real source of these experiences is still within our own mind, not outside it.
@Sunil,….Of course, I agree ALL inner images experienced during meditation and dreams are projected from OUR minds. But each of out minds are different, or as Charan stated, many times , our minds are AGENTS of UNIVERSAL MIND.
@Donald,….you would have a much different reverence for Gurinder if he projected to your mind as his Radiant Form with his turban, inside, when you meditating, than by receiving answers by Texts, that most likely is not coming from Gurinder at all, but from one of his many cronies.
As for turbans, they are meaningless to me, as a Christian. In fact, I think they are kind of corny, other than worn as a Tribal dress code. To us WASPS,…..i.e. White Anglo Saxon Protestants, Indian dress codes in general, including Modi’s are clownish looking to us American WASPS. I have seen lots of inner characters with out head coverings, inside, both during dreaming and meditation, that are projections of my own mind. If not my mind, than certainly, no one else’s, other than Universal Mind.
But ALL inner forms operate and project from the various levels of the Astral Realms.