Below is another in a series of guest blog posts from Anon, an ex-RSSB initiate. RSSB stands for Radha Soami Satsang Beas, an India-based religious organization headed up by a guru that I belonged to for 35 years, which explains my interest in sharing criticisms of the faith that I also found lacking.
Anon had sent me “RSSB manipulation tactics” and “RSSB culture” as separate guest blog posts. But they seemed fairly closely related, so I decided to combine them.
RSSB manipulation tactics
Lovebombing: Showering you with praise, acceptance, attention, validation, warmth at first in order to win you over, which does not last and is temporary.
Conditional Acceptance: Accepting you only as long as you do everything they say. Subjecting you to rejection, isolation, shunning and exile if you do not. Constantly requiring you to “prove” yourself.
Bait And Switch: Attracting you with beautiful promises only to change the terms once you are fully committed. Once you are in, the soft promises disappear and are replaced with heavy demands and requirements, and promises remain undelivered, or forever a mirage in the future.
Coercive Control: A calculated pressure pattern of behavior used to dominate you by taking away your freedom, identity, and independence through forced isolation, strict rules, and constant monitoring. It also limits freedoms to prevent you leaving openly or criticising. It is weaponised as freedom by saying it is the absence of outright force (“nobody forced you”).
Gaslighting/Inverting Reality: Flipping everything upside down so that true strengths like independence and critical thinking are labeled as failures, while submissiveness and unquestioning is praised as a victory.
Brainwashing: Using a continuous combination of exhaustion, isolation, and intense repetition to completely break you down and replace your ideas with their ideas. By keeping you too physically tired to think and socially isolated in their bubble, people erase your original logic until their rules become your only source of truth.
Trauma Bonding: A powerful, unhealthy attachment that forms when a group of people/person degrades your self-worth, makes you feel unsafe in reality, and then claims to be the only place where you can find safety and love.
Learned Helplessness: A condition that occurs when you are repeatedly trapped in limiting situations until you believe you have no control over your life, causing you to stop trying to advocate for yourself.
RSSB culture
RSSB has a ‘culture’ which they don’t really talk about or write about. It is also something you may not see or experience initially but comes through later on. This is more of the practical lived reality of the environment and dynamics – not teachings or lifestyle rules but “culture”.
RSSB culture normalises a high-control environment which sets people up for other high-control style environments in other areas of life. They may not even realise this themselves. It essentially primes people for manipulation and exploitative relationships in other areas of life.
From what I saw at my time there, a lot of people faced difficulties in dealings with others or in areas of life. This impacted young people the most. There was no “type” (any age, gender, race, time spent, initiated or not, educated or not) but it affected people who genuinely were steeped in RSSB culture and belief at heart.
RSSB unofficial culture:
Conditional inquiry only: Questions/discussions are welcomed, only if they result in total compliance from you.
Faith as “fact”: Answers are framed as objective facts/truth which must not be challenged, like “rulings”, even if they make little or no sense to you.
The “Word Salad” mindloop: Theological jargon and circular logic create endless mindloops, and you constantly have to rationalise things.
Doubt as a direct attack: Disagreement, doubt, skepticism is not allowed. This is framed as your personal spiritual failure, your personal bad character/morals, and a direct attack on RSSB.
Aggression as “faith”: Normalises verbal violence e.g. shouting and aggression as “passion” or “preaching”. I’ve never been to a single quiet soft spoken satsang or Q&A all the way. You do also see the guru “dress down” people 1-1 at the Q&A stand too. True RSSB followers/sevadars may aggressively verbally shout/preach RSSB spiritual views at you to “defend the faith” if you say or do anything non-compliant.
Boundary erosion: Constant pressure to do more at RSSB and follow all strict lifestyle rules at all times forces a person to constantly defend, justify, explain themselves, requiring and pushback, repeatedly setting boundaries which are constantly challenged.
Authority Figures: RSSB requires absolute unquestioning obedience and blind devotion to another person as an authority figure (the master/guru) and you are not allowed to question him personally (this does also extend to RSSB elite and high ranking sevadars too).
All or nothing: You are either in or out. You either do everything in order to be RSSB, or you are simply not RSSB/ have “fallen off the path”.
Surveillance: Complete strangers/people you barely know feel entitled to police your actions, and how RSSB you are – pushing you to be more.
Policing: Long-term older community members (sevadars) actively enforce compliance with RSSB lifestyle and values and behavioral norms – pushing people to do more.
Weaponised bad karma: Key Guru teaching at satsang/Q/A is “Do Not React” encouraging people not to stand up for themselves or hold others accountable due to karma theory: “creating bad karma”, “if there is one fool let there not be two”, “every action has a reaction”.
If you get used to this culture at RSSB, you may find yourself getting used to it elsewhere.
— Anon
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Gurinder changed sant mat for the worse. Everything said here is true. The question is why do they do that ; it runs from the top down. I choose to let the One God who only can judge Gurinder also worship me. That’s the Radiant form of the holy Spirit. The master who was here in the beginning and King of the world without end . The ever present Om. The Great Om . The one you can’t understand.
Hey man in the mirror all you can do is make them think. You can’t think for them and why would you want to think for control freaks.
The human mind finds all kinds of excuses not to meditate. But in meditation you do not find anything conditional at all. Within, there are no conditions. But to get there, yes, there are. You created the need for them: You can’t blame others, harbor anger, lust, greed, attachment or ego, and expect to experience anything beyond these things. Things you are holding onto, things you make over and over again, along with the excuses to hold onto them, to build and rebuild these castles of dirt.
So the world is colored by our own levels of lust, anger, greed, attachment and pride. It’s a problem for all of us.
But the first lesson we learn, on our own, because no one needs to teach us if we are working at our meditation, is this: Our mind is working 24/7 to repaint the world according to our own psychology.
So, when you see “other” people demonstrating all the qualities you hate, brother, take a look in the mirror. You are sensitized to them by conditions within your own psychology.
Not to say they aren’t there. We are all a mixed bag.
But when you see them in others, that’s the time to bring that right back into meditation, and find out something about yourself.
If you cannot accept the world as it is, even the divinity in every individual, then despite your own propaganda, you have not accepted your own self as you are today, and you won’t be able to tolerate going within.
The process is simple:
Acknowledgment…Seeing the world as it is, and seeing yourself coloring the world as you are.
Acceptance.. everything starts there. You can’t accept others until you accept yourself, warts and all.
Submission..submitting this, not to anyone’s rules, not for anyone else’s approval (aren’t they also bound by their own projections and limitations as you are?), but submitting this to the divine within yourself. That higher quality that understands, that loves, and that wants to help you grow.
And then, in time, through practice of Acknowldging, Accepting, and Submitting, comes..
Surrender..
You can’t surrender emotions you can’t control. You can’t surrender regrets and angers and desires you can’t control. They aren’t yours to control.
You are something else, and that higher power is your real source, and with its help, the help of your true Master, you can rise above these things.
Then, right in the middle of RSSB Satsang, all you see is people like you, struggling, but who have tasted something wonderful within. And then, are aren’t even there anymore. You are just with that divine Master who loves you, who wants you dearly to stay with Him.
So, that’s a process. It happens just as easily as letting go. But if you can’t let go, then understand you are part of it right now. That’s the place to start.
Surveillance: Complete strangers/people you barely know feel entitled to police your actions, and how RSSB you are – pushing you to be more. You are one of the ones it’s talking about. Pride cometh before a fall.
So what would Jesus say about all this ? Did he not turn over the tables in the temple as they were counting their money ? Is that submission ? No of course not. So there is scope for action, not being as meek and holy as a lamb and letting them walk all over you. It’s a long job cutting through all this crap, and it’s tedious. Dear Anon needs to get the bee or bees out of his bonnet and move on, not be left bitter, that is showing he’s still attached to RSSB.
Who set all this up in this way ?
(Stock answer is we did it, our minds ! But even question that. It’s all baloney, tosh, tallyriddle.
“Not I but the father within who does the work.”
Yes, submission, and surrender, to that divine power within: 100%.
He was doing the job assigned to him.
We should do the job assigned to us.
As for the meak, they shall inherit the earth, right?
That is the earth within. So long as we are doing our own private thing, pleasing our own mind, our own senses, and not doing our assigned job, then of course, that all belongs here and here is where we stay: we have no access to that better place Christ spoke of.
Who set this all up?
Does it matter?
If you are no longer there, then there are no distinctions. You can say you did this to yourself if you like, but if you no longer are here, then there is no one left to blame. And besides, blame isn’t permitted in Sant Mat.
I see Spencer as someone who has fallen off of the real path but yet waiting there to judge ( and of course be judged by the clown in the mirror ). He’s not a celebrity like Gurinder though and celebrities are fair game for judgment by all. ( Like it or not). ” If you’ve not taken offense at my commentary then get off the fence.” Desperados waiting for a train. I’ve finished and started all over waiting on you all.
Unlike previous rssb Masters and fake gurus, Gurinder has chosen celebritydom and politics to of course not react to. 😉
Hi Ronald
Things look incredibly different depending upon where you are at, your psychology.
Different for everyone.
Just think about the longevity of the human race. We have fallen many, many times for you and I, Brian and Anon, to still be here. How many times, let’s call it “n”.
But what if n+1 is the number of times we’ve gotten back up!
I would like to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. To avoid making the same mistakes over and over again, if you really look at our actual existence, is one incredibly ambitious goal.
But the silver lining to such a goal is that it leaves no time to judge anyone else. If they have gotten up n-1 times, and we have gotten up n+1 times, well, if n= 1,000,000 falls over as many lifetimes, then the difference between any of us, whether n-1 or n+1 is statistically insignificant. Statistically the difference between you and I is zero.
So don’t be too proud of it.
But let me encourage you to get back up. To forget about anyone else’s issue and get back to our own work. I do it with the guy in the mirror every day. I’ll be doing it again tomorrow.
Anon’s account of RSSB’s manipulation and culture, as I’ve mentioned before, is typical of how many cults operate. Here are extracts from a report in the Telegraph that I read today:
“In 1986, Dad died of a stroke, making me an orphan not long after my 15th birthday.
As a still-grieving 17-year-old, I was drawn in by the spiritual “brothers and sisters” of the Jesus Army. They strummed guitars, and the girls wore long, flowing skirts and dresses, cooking and cleaning as a collective – something that was missing from my life. I was mesmerised and quickly started attending their Sunday meetings.
After leaving school at 18, I had become directionless, and I began spending more time with the cult. I started signing on for unemployment benefits, but their “tithing” requirements meant I was asked to donate all but £9 to them each fortnight. It was difficult, but I was desperate for that family identity.
Mentally, however, I was still trapped. I didn’t know how to be in the world after being controlled from inside a bubble, not making a single decision for myself for 13 years. I struggled to find friends because no one understood what I’d lived through; I didn’t even know how to make conversation.
I became suicidal once more, finally seeking counselling in 2008. I am still in therapy to help me process the trauma of my time with the Jesus Army, and I continue to find it hard to trust people.”
I guess people that do healthcare for a living are used to misjudging people. There are no failures in my version of Sant Mat. Everyone has a right to judge a celebrity or public figure but only the big man upstairs judgment counts.
I can honestly say that if meditation was that hard I would have never done it. I’m not down on myself for anything. It’s never been my fault if I couldn’t meditate. That’s not even the end destination. Not wanting to meditate can be a strong meditation. Let’s just say I wanted to miss that opportunity on purpose. Mainly because I wanted to be nothing like that a-hole guru guy Gurinder . But I won’t eat meat. I do know my limitations. Now these are just my own opinions. Don’t mistake me as being like you either.
Sant Mat, via RSSB style, has provable examples, or Sign posts along the Way, unlike, or different than by following the Master Jesus Christ, which is by Faith only, of whom most of us have never seen, or at least don’t remember of even haven seen.
But it’s virtually impossible to even start, much less convince Atheists, or those who won’t even acknowledge that there is a Soul, that survives death of the physical body, and that there is an After Life, that will continue in some other, PROVABLE Spiritual Inner Realm, disconnected from the deceased physical body, that was only on loan to our Soul for a Season.
Revisiting my Post here made multiple times, “Meditation For Neophites” , proves that Meditation by following the Technique I learned from Sant Mat will deliver the inner signs that the Great Master said would be there in his book, Spiritual Gems, which are flashes of light, Sun, Moon, Star, as well as the Sounds of Shabd, which are Conch, then Bell, sounding like the Inner Ringing Radiance of the Bell that rings continuously , with out any breaks or pulsation, as mine is now.
But seriously , light, sun, moon and the Star only proves that by following Sant Mat via RSSB delivers these Sign promises, but still leaves followers confused, and with out The Faith that Christians teaches, from the Bible, that,….
That a historical Living Master named Jesus Christ, ( Christ translated from the Hebrew “Messiah”) ,….preached the Good News Gospel of Salvation , never needing to be earned my works, or even by meditation, but was, is, and will always only be gifted by GRACE. by our Creator, which I choose to call GOD, Who can never be completely described, other than by glimpses described in Holy Writings or Scriptures, written by men of the past, who were inspired by this God to write what they did.
Of lately, with the advent of the Internet, AI, and those subscribing to Life after Death, Spirituality, and God,……..out side of the Material, physical Realms, there is Zero Space and Time, that exists only in the physical material planes.
So, if this is real, and can be proven by Metaphysics, than what that historical Man of the Bible did for Man Kind on the Cross, by Crucification, sent by His Father God, which was to take on the sins of the world, and have His Father, God, declare them, US, NOT GUILTY, by His Sacrifice, then die on that Cross in our place, as our final Sacrifice, then be resurrected 3 days later, and ascend to, and stand on the Right Hand of His Father, as our Mediator, Eternally making intercession for us, as sinners,…than the age old challenge of skeptics asking,..”Well what about all those sinners who died before Jesus was born and died, as well as after,…up to now? .”
Well the simple answer is. since there is no, I mean,. ZERO, time and space in the Spiritual World, what the Master did for humankind 2000 plus earth years ago, was only required ONCE, and was for ALL of Eternity , ,,, ,but was for only those who will only believe by FAITH, not by works. and will receive Salvation by ASKING THE SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, to come in to their hearts, forgive their sins, and take over and guide their lives!
How do I know it works, or is real?
Because it happened to me, when I got down on my knees in a hotel room, hung over from my last drunk, at age 35, and invited that Christ Messiah in to my heart and life, and make me the new Creation that the Bible promises.
It worked! I was crucified with Christ, and became the new Creation from the old sinner man I was , to the sinless man I am now!
To the Skeptics here, who have reincarnated from your past lives and missed your chance of asking Christ in to your hearts during any of your past lives, you have been given your chance to do it NOW, and reserve your Place in what ever Spiritual Realm chosen for you, by our ONE CREATOR.
DO IT NOW! Don’t wait another minute, before you miss this chance again, and have to wait many more reincarnations to ever be invited for this Opportunity again.
Hi Jim!
I was reading Swami Ji’s poetry and I came across a universe in a tea pot.
He wrote:
“And so they are left with superstition and doubt”
That’s the entire universe of mind. On one extreme, in fear, clinging to fairy tales that give us a little solace. And on the other extreme, doubting everything and having nothing left, real or unreal.
That’s mind at work.
The love of Christ has nothing to do with mind, of course.
As you say, it’s just a matter of begging, meditation being a structured form of begging directly. We take our appeal to Him.
The mind doesn’t like to beg. But even an angry dog quiets down at meal time.
Grumbling and growling as it may even with every bite, as it chows down the delicious dinner its master serves.
That dog is a fool, but at least it knows it can’t bark with food in it’s mouth.
It knows enough to stop barking long enough to start eating.
And that dog thereby is much smarter than us.
In RSSB, nobody forces you to go to ANY of the events, nobody forces you to follow any of the teachings or punishes you if you don’t (unless you have family / personal friends who do this).If you MOVE AWAY nobody follows you or tries to remind you of it (unless you have personal relations, again- which you can break). I’m not saying it’s a cool group or angelic people. But you have clearly never been in a real cult. If you don’t have the cajones to live your own life, if it means to move away from your family and friends, and if you keep going to a group you don’t like and crazily break their rules on the private property where their events are held this sounds like borderline personality disorder to me. Whatever may be unlikable about this group and the people in it, THERE’S NO FORCE for you to keep associating with it. What’s wrong with you that you don’t just leave. Be yourself and live your own life. It’s totally nuts that you go and copy the playbook of actual groups who trap people and won’t let them leave, and spew it here like you’re intelligent enough to have come up with all of it. Sure if you walk into any organization or church and do something unwelcome like push over the collection box people will make you feel extremely uncomfortable, unwanted, and may physically throw you out. That doesn’t mean it’s a cult, it means you’re clueless or a troublemaker. I’m perplexed that your letter is posted here by Brian like it’s valid. High school isn’t a cult but people will freeze you out. That’s how society works …. everybody is free to go find whitener they resonate with though our change schools or be a loner. But you can’t march into a classroom and upset the apple cart so to speak, and then cry it is a cult. Please, go join an actual cult if you don’t understand the power of how you won’t be able to leave. There’s no group in society who will let you just take over and let you do what you want. For that you have to create your own group.
This Anon person don’t know what they are talking about. E is absolutely correct. Nobody cares if you attend satsangs or not. No one is forced to attend. I have family who never attend and nobody follows them around asking why they do not attend satsang.