Posted inPersonal/Stories Radha Soami Satsang Beas

My wife’s shoulder surgery is a growth opportunity for me

For a long time I felt that my daily meditation was the best way for me to become a better person. Looking back, that was a selfish attitude. I'd bought into a form of pseudo-spirituality that taught self-realization (I'm soul, not body!) was the stepping stone to god-realization (My soul is a drop of the divine ocean!).  I call it "pseudo" because in my current frame of mind, genuine spirituality is about forgetting the self as much as possible, not trying to enhance it, even if the supposed enhancing is aimed at merging with the Grandest Self of All, god. …
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Posted inPersonal/Stories

Here’s my churchless “death letter.” But I’m not dying.

Yesterday on my HinesSight blog I wrote a post called "My 76th birthday has me thinking about sending death letters before I die." Here's how it starts out. For a while I've been pondering the notion of sending death letters to friends, family, and other people important to me -- not letters to be delivered after I die, but while I'm very much alive, not even sick.  This idea has gained strength as I approach my 76th birthday. That sounds damn old to me. Which, it is. My sister died at 71. My mother died at 73. My father, almost…
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Posted inMiscellaneous Personal/Stories

What the Olympics can teach us about life, love, and reality

Ooh, after just writing the title for this blog post, I realized that it's pretty grandiose. But if I stumble and fall before I cross the blog-post-expectation finish line, this will simply serve to emphasize one of my points about the meaning of the Olympics -- assuming I can remember what it was. The Paris Olympics are about halfway done. My wife and I watched the opening ceremony in its entirety.  Well, until the ceremony reached the stadium, after which we lost interest. I thought it was one of the best opening ceremonies ever. Creative, emotional, energetic. Having the athletes…
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Posted inFree will Neuroscience Personal/Stories

Rather than rely on religion, here’s what I consider both true and beneficial

Having been a religious believer for 35 years, Eastern religion variety, I'm deeply familiar with why people are attracted to a belief in God, heaven, supernatural realms, mystical powers, life after death, and such. In short, it feels good.  Religions provide a community of like-minded people. They offer a ready-made meaning to life. Their believers are drawn to view themselves as special, possessing knowledge and benefits (like eternal salvation) off-limits to those not within the religion's fold.  I found all those things highly appealing and beneficial to me. Until I didn't. For this primary reason: I came to conclude that…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories

Wrong things I tell myself

A book could be written about the title of this blog post. Indeed, some have done just that. There's lots of books in both the neuroscientific and philosophical genres about the illusion that we humans are a single self. Or, if you're religiously minded, a Self. The truth is, as I said in the title, that "I" can have no problem telling "myself" something, even though almost everybody -- me certainly included -- has an intuitive sense that there's a single entity inside our head who is in charge of our actions, thoughts, beliefs, and such. That intuition is wrong.…
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Posted inMindfulness Personal/Stories

Pain is a great teacher, though I’d prefer a more pleasant instructor

Back in 2020 was when my sciatica pain started. I don't know why. Often health problems appear mysteriously. Which would be fine if they disappeared just as mysteriously.  But in my case, the extreme pain I had early on, where I'd shed tears uncontrollably while walking the dog or mowing the lawn if I was having an especially bad day, eventually abated. Maybe from time. Maybe from the physical therapy exercises I was given. Who knows? For the next three years, 2021-23, my right leg always had some discomfort. It was manageable, though. I didn't need pain relievers. I was…
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Posted inMeaning of life Personal/Stories

Why do we exist? (I attempt an answer)

Yesterday I got this message from someone. Just curious, perhaps it would be an idea to make a topic with the title: Why do we exist? I am convinced that we have no free will at all and life seems so useless...(to me). Since I enjoy challenges, I said that I'd attempt a blog post on this subject, though I don't have any firm answer to the question.  So here goes. I'll be sort of rambling in my response, given that quite a few different ideas have been meandering through my brain as I thought about the message at various…
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Posted inFree will Personal/Stories

More on the illusion of free will, from Robert Sapolsky and me

I'm continuing to enjoy Robert Sapolsky's book Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will, which I first wrote about a few days ago. The book is getting a lot of publicity, way more than any other book on this subject so far as I can tell.  Before I share what I said about the illusion of free will on my HinesSight blog yesterday, here's more from Sapolsky -- quotes from the end of his chapter "Where Does Intent Come From?" In the first chapter, I wrote about what is needed to prove free will, and this chapter has added…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories

If the world is seen in a grain of sand, then enlightenment is in a football game

I like the title of this blog post. If I was reading it, rather than writing it, I'd look at that title and think, "Man, I've got to learn how enlightenment is in a football game." Of course, learning how the world is seen in a grain of sand is something to be sought after also. But since I'm not William Blake, you'll have to ponder his poem on your own. And I've got to admit that explaining how enlightenment is in a football game is more of an aspiration for me, than a given. Still, since I spent quite…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories Radha Soami Satsang Beas

Spirituality is simple without Self and free will

So why do I enjoy pondering the notion that we not only aren't an enduring separate Self (a central tenet of Buddhism), we also don't possess free will (a central tenet of neuroscience)? Though I haven't heard anyone asking me this question, I heard the voice that speaks inside my head asking it, so I'm pleased to answer myself. Note that the "self" in that second sentence isn't capitalized as the "Self" in the first sentence was. That's to distinguish between the metaphysical idea of Self -- often expressed as soul -- that somehow exists separate from the physical body/mind,…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories

My weird dream points to the fluid boundaries of self

Most of us believe that our self -- leaving aside what that word truly means -- is something solid and real. But there's plenty of evidence all around us that calls this assumption into question. Which is an understatement. Because that evidence actually demolishes the notion of an enduring unchanging self. So those who claim that notions about awareness, consciousness, or soul point to a self that is a fixed North Star in a constellation of change have a lot of explaining to do. For mental illness can markedly change the contours of a person's self. So can dementia, where…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories

Here’s a great Tina Turner song

I saw Tina Turner perform with her jerk husband Ike at either Winterland or Fillmore in San Francisco during my college days in 1968 or 1969. (Hey, like they say, if you can clearly remember the 60's, you weren't really there.) I was high on something, naturally. Being close to the stage, absorbing her amazing energy -- that was an experience I'll never forget. So sorry that she died. Here's a song of hers that sends chills up my spine.
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Posted inConsciousness Personal/Stories

Drugs as an avenue to exploring consciousness

First, I've made some progress in understanding what Sam Harris means when he says "Consciousness is not inside your head," a semi-perplexing statement that I wrote about recently.  After writing that post, I've listened to a couple of other guided meditations by Harris on his Waking Up app. In one, he talked about how consciousness is akin to the familiar metaphor of waves and the ocean. The waves aren't separate from the ocean, just as consciousness isn't separate from the things that we're conscious of. In the guided meditation I heard today, Harris made a similar point about being aware…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories Science

Artificial intelligence likes me. Here’s what ChatGPT said about Brian Hines.

On my HinesSight blog, yesterday I wrote about how I'd finally gotten around to trying ChatGPT, the online chatbot offered by OpenAI, a company whose goal is A.G.I. -- artificial general intelligence that can do anything a human can do. I got the idea to look into ChatGPT after listening to part of an interview MSNBC's Ari Melber did with hip hop artist Erykah Badu where Melber read to her ChatGPT's answer to his query, "Discuss Erykah Badu's contributions." That answer from the artificial intelligence chatbot was really impressive. You can see that part of the interview in the video…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories

I’m asked some probing questions. Here’s my answers.

A few days ago I got an email from someone who asked me questions about myself. Since I'm highly interested in my self (assuming I have one; Buddhists would say I don't), I decided to share my answers in a blog post. The questions are in boring black type. My responses are in vibrant red.  1. Can you confirm why you are now the (Spiritual Leader of the Church of the Churchless) ? Well, I guess it is because I started this blog in 2004, and I'm still the only person in charge of the blog. So I keep on electing…
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Posted inConsciousness Personal/Stories

Anesthesia with propofol raises interesting consciousness questions

Because I'm prone to getting non-cancerous polyps, which could turn into cancer if not removed, I've had colonoscopies every five years or so since I was around fifty. The most recent ones have involved anesthesia with propofol, a frequently-used drug with few side effects but potential for abuse. Because it induces euphoria in many people. One study found about half.  In 2011 I wrote "Finding enlightenment through a colonoscopy (and propofol)." After talking about a disturbing conversation I had with a nurse about whether propofol truly prevents a patient from feeling discomfort/pain, or merely takes away the memory of discomfort/pain,…
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Posted inAtheism Buddhism Personal/Stories

I might have had a mini-enlightenment last night

Even though I no longer believe in God, I'm attracted to non-religious Buddhism. So even though I don't engage in any sort of formal Buddhist practice, I like the idea of being enlightened.  Just seems better than being endarkened.  Though I can't say with any certainty that the intuitive flash that coursed through my consciousness as I was heading to bed last night was a sign of a mini-enlightenment (I'm way too humble to claim a maxi-enlightenment), I like the idea that it was. So I'll go with that. I was heading down the stairs that lead to the bedroom…
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Posted inCoronavirus Personal/Stories

After I got Covid, science became my best friend

About two weeks ago, on Monday, January 30, I tested positive for Covid. A few days later I blogged about this on my HinesSight blog in I test positive for Covid. And feel positive about Paxlovid. Well, it was a good run without ever getting Covid -- about three years since the nasty virus came to the United States in early 2020.  After I had trouble sleeping last Saturday night, feeling on edge for no discernible reason, I took a rapid Covid test Sunday morning, which came back negative, even though my voice was a bit hoarse. But Monday morning…
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Posted inPersonal/Stories Radha Soami Satsang Beas

I’m told that the RSSB guru said I’m good, or am a good soul

Today I got this message from someone who, unlike me, still attends the satsang meetings of Radha Soami Satsang Beas, the India-based religious organization that I belonged to for 35 years, before RSSB and me parted our ways. Baba Ji refers to the current RSSB guru, Gurinder Singh Dhillon. I heard today from someone who said “Baba Ji said that Brian Hines is good (or a good soul).” I am not sure which or maybe both, because his English is a little hard for me to understand. I told this person, Ah. That's nice. I said that because it was…
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