S*** I heard at RSSB

Here’s another guest blog post from Anon, an ex-RSSB initiate. RSSB stands for Radha Soami Satsang Beas, an India-based religious organization headed up by a guru that I belonged to for 35 years, which explains my interest in sharing criticisms of the faith that I also found lacking. GSD stands for Gurinder Singh Dhillon, the current RSSB guru. S*** stands for shit (but I’m sure you could have guessed that). I really enjoyed what Anon wrote. Both humorous and sad.

Here’s a list of s*** I heard at RSSB during my time there. It stuck with me for a reason and it’s interesting to revisit these specific moments which are forever burned in my mind. Enjoy.

GSD (on vegetarianism): Well even Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian…

RSSB Crowd: WOW, see even HITLER was a vegetarian. That’s how we know it’s RIGHT (prideful smiles)

(GSD at one time later started doing a Nazi salute regularly at the crowd. This was definitely a phase. They all just laughed.)

Satsangi: What should happen if a woman is raped and ends up pregnant? There’s a huge stigma against single mothers in India…

GSD (on abortion): Well what has the child done? Why should they suffer? The child is innocent.

Satsangi: What should I do, am I allowed to be here – I’m GAY

GSD (on homosexuality): We need to ask ourselves what is the purpose? What is the PURPOSE of being gay? It can’t lead to children so what is the purpose?

Satsangi: Guru, I work on a ship, I’m away for extended periods of time, and I’m allergic to pornographic movies.

GURU: JUST STOP.

Satsangi: My child is severely allergic to lots of foods. (Gives a list of basically every single food item known to man). There is limited things she can eat. But I really want to raise her in this path. But she cannot eat much food. She is OK with meat. Can she eat meat? Is it ok?

GSD: NO. VEGETARIAN

Satsangi: But my child cannot eat anything…

GSD: VEGETARIAN

(just kept repeating that)

Anyone: I have health problems which prevent me from sitting cross legged in the position for extended periods of time

GSD: SIT ON A CHAIR

Satsangi: Babaji I can’t meditate

GSD: WHY NOT

Satsangi: I can’t

GSD: WHY NOT

Satsangi: Well 2.5 hours is a long time. I do all the house chores, all the cooking, all the cleaning, raise the kids, plus I work- I don’t have 2.5 hours

GSD: BUT YOU HAVE TIME TO WATCH TV. BUT YOU HAVE TIME TO SOCIALISE. STOP WATCHING TV AND SOCIALISING AND MEDITATE INSTEAD.

Satsangi: Babaji I can’t do the complete meditation. 2.5 hours is a long time

GSD: TWO AND A HALF HOURS

Satsangi: I have a busy job it’s long hours it’s heavy shift work I’m working all hours I’m exhausted

GSD: TWO AND A HALF HOURS

(just kept repeating this)

GSD (on the guru): This is what you satsangis are all like. You say I’m hungry and you want a plate of food. Then you say ‘Guru put the food in my mouth’. Then you say ‘Ok guru crunch my jaw’. Then you will ask me to digest it for you! You are all so lazy.

GSD (to the entire crowd): When I came here, I went into the shower, someone had turned the water onto total HOT. I nearly burned myself! I said turn the water down! I know you are all constipated in this country, but that’s no excuse. You’re trying to burn me!

Satsangi: Everyone is treating me really badly they disrespect me they shout at me

GSD: DO NOT REACT AND DO NOT ANSWER BACK

(just kept repeating that)

Satsangi: How come all the Gurus are men?

GSD: Women go through enough!

GSD: Sister you will know if you’re on the right path because you’ll feel it. Just like you know when you enter a room if the light is on or off. You’ll feel if your spirituality is on or off.

Satsangi: So how do I know if it is turned on?

GSD (wry smile): So you want to be…. turned on? 😉

Group of satsangis

Satsangi: So did you hear about the guy who DIED at RSSB doing construction seva?

Others: Yeah

Satsangi: Yeah, apparently his family are SUING!

ALL GASP

Satsangi: They say they want RSSB to be held accountable for the death of their family member. They are not Radhasoami!

ALL GASP

Satsangi: Well he died in the right place!

All in unison: Yes!

Group of men sitting down at seva:

Satsangi: Boys, let’s go OUT. LETS GO OUT! (assuming to party, get drunk)

Guru walks in hands folded – addresses a young pretty girl: “You must have all these boys wrapped around your little finger” – walks off

Satsangi 1: The Guru came in and talked to her! He didn’t talk to me! Only her!

Satsangi 2: Wow did he really? What did he say?

Satsangi 1: He called her a slut! The Guru is only talking to her because she is a slut!

Satsangi 2: Did he say that to her?

Satsangi 1: Yeah!

Me: What happened to your seva group?

Satsangi: So my friend, was standing on the stairs and this man came up to her to chat and he touched her up. She told me. I told her to tell someone. She did. Babaji’s security found out and said ‘I’m going to write his name on a piece of paper and if it’s him you just nod’. It was the same man, she nodded. And the man was banned from coming here.

Me: Wait? So they already KNEW who it was?!

Satsangi: Yeah. He’s done it before like 3 times apparently….

Me: Well it’s good they listened and did something I guess… finally…

Satsangi: She says she wishes she said nothing. Now everybody is blaming her and saying ‘you cost that man his seva!’.

Me: What? Is she ok?

Satsangi: I don’t know. Because she just said that I told her to do it. Everyone else is talking to her now, and she isn’t talking to me anymore. None of them are.

STUNNED SILENCE

My initiation interview (3 hours long – key highlights)

-Every saint has a past. And every sinner has a future… so don’t feel bad.

-WHEN DID YOU LAST HAVE SEX? IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS?

-The path is not about renouncing the world. You have to live in this world. But you have to renounce it. But quietly. Just within yourself. Not run off in the forest in a pajama and leave everything behind. Don’t do that! I will get in trouble if you do that!

-NO, YOU HAVE NOT UNDERSTOOD THE PATH (proceeds to approve me for initiation)

-One time I met Charan Singh. He was so beautiful. He was talking to me and he blew me a kiss. I felt so amazing. I felt so good. (THIS WAS A HETERO MARRIED MAN!)

Satsangi: I feel a lot of pressure I don’t like that we are forced to do all this and forced to come here

GSD: WHO SAYS I WANT YOU HERE. WHO SAYS EVEN I WANT TO BE HERE. YOU ALL GO HOME AND THEN I CAN GO HOME.