RSSB hoover tactics

Below is another guest blog post from Anon, an ex-RSSB initiate. RSSB stands for Radha Soami Satsang Beas, an India-based religious organization headed up by a guru that I belonged to for 35 years, which explains my interest in sharing criticisms of the faith that I also found lacking. This is a follow-up to Anon’s previous guest blog post, “Life after RSSB.” If you’re interested in the linguistic history of “hoovering,” check out this link.

Anon uses a few terms that won’t be familiar to everybody. Satsang is a spiritual meeting. Seva is volunteering. Sevadar is a volunteer. Satsangis are RSSB initiates.

“Hoover tactics” are methods of trying to pull you back into something you’ve tried to leave (like a vacuum hoover which just “hoovers” you in). If you’ve tried to distance yourself from RSSB, you may have experienced this. Some of these tactics are outright and some are more benign – these are the more insidious ones in my view as they come across as “friendly”.

I used to write these off as “innocent” or “well meaning” attempts by satsangis who were concerned for my everlasting soul, or genuinely missed me. I now realise this was just “pressure-lite” and they were still just trying to pressure me – they didn’t really care about me and their acceptance of me was conditional acceptance – as long as I did everything RSSB wanted. No means no.

I wanted to share my experience of hoover tactics which came my way, to help anyone else who may be experiencing these. I’m also sharing some which I’ve seem happen to others.

Eventually I went no contact with all RSSB people – except for one who wanted to maintain contact – and we don’t talk about RSSB. I still struggle with feelings of pressure in my life – I have to work on that. I happened to cross paths with an older asian man with a beard and a white turban yesterday – I was just filled with a sense of dread and panic. I have to work on this too.

Commenters – feel free to describe any additional ones in the comments.

1. Gentle/benign tactics – questioning/querying your absence – disguised as fake concern

• “We haven’t seen you for a while, where have you been?”
• “We’ve missed you / been worried about you? What’s been going on?”
• “What have you been up to? What have you been doing?”
• “I’ve been asking about you – I heard you did XYZ”
• “I’ve been asking X about you but they know nothing – nobody seems to know what you’ve been up to”
• “It’s actually so good to see you here and see you around, been a while”
• “Oh my God heyy, where have you been?”

2. Outright direct questions – monitoring/policing lifestyle- disguised as spiritual talk

• “You’ve been on holiday? Who did you go with? Yourself, friends, girlfriend/boyfriend?”
• “You got a girlfriend/boyfriend? You seeing anyone?”
• “If you go to parties or work, how do you handle people offering you alcohol?”
• “Do you drink? Do you say no? Have you ever had alcohol?”
• “Why are you eating that? It isn’t RSSB – you can’t have that”
• “Why are you taking that medication from the doctor? RSSB says you can’t take mind altering drugs.”
• “Are you getting married? Are they RSSB?”
• “Are the kids RSSB?”
• “You haven’t come, you have fallen off the path?”

3. Monitoring/policing presence at RSSB – disguised as community spirit and faithfulness

• “Are you coming to satsang?”
• “Are you going to the headquarter site?”
• “Are you going to come to seva?”
• “Are you going to take up a regular seva?”
• “Are you going to go XYZ seva?”
• “Are you going to do a whole week of seva in your holidays?”
• “Are you going to the national satsang?”
• “Were you sitting at the front or the back?”
• “What time did you get here? Early or late?”
• “Are you going to the overseas satsang?”
• “Can’t you take time off and come?”
• “Why aren’t you coming? Why haven’t I seen you?”

4. Forcing you back – unwanted sign-ups without being asked – disguised as helpfulness

• “I put your name down for seva”
• “I got you a space at satsang”
• “I’ve signed you up for XYZ seva”
• “I’ll take you to the RSSB centre, come with me”
• “I’ve got you a ticket/token”
• “You should meet XYZ I told him/her about you and that you’ll help”
• “I bought you back some food from there”
• “There’s a new photo of the guru/ a new book – let me show you”
• “Can you take ME? I’ve got nobody to take me, I can’t go myself”

5. Controlling your life choices – disguised as “the right spiritual atmosphere”

• VIP status – access to key senior leaders, access to the front row, access to the guru
• Suggesting you become an authority figure – key sevadar, giving satsang
• Suggesting you “bring” (convert) your non-RSSB family
• Suggesting you find an RSSB partner
• Introducing you to an eligible RSSB person
• Pressure to marry that RSSB person (this was where I RAN – I’ll do another post on this)
• Pressure to do your paid work on an unpaid basis as “seva” for RSSB
• Pressure to make financial donations to RSSB
• Pressure to leave a legacy in your will to RSSB
• Pressure to give your home/real estate/land to RSSB

— Anon