I’ve changed a lot in the past twenty years or so, after I set aside the beliefs I’d embraced during thirty-five years of religiosity, Eastern religion variety. One major change is that my previous grandiose life goals have been replaced by much smaller ones.
Before, I held out hope that I’d learn the truth about ultimate reality. Today, I was happy that I could install license plates on the Tesla Model Y Juniper that I’d leased a bit over a month ago.
(This isn’t a matter of simply screwing them on. I had to consult a couple of You Tube videos to figure out how to put on the plates without using the screwy stick-on front plate holder that came with the car. See here and here if you’re into geeky Tesla stuff.)
I felt really good when I had both plates on the car and was able to remove the temporary sticker on the rear window. Not ecstatically good. Just a warm feeling of having succeeded at a simple mechanical task, since I’m not all that competent at handling stuff like that.
I used to think that I couldn’t be happy without having some truly major goals. Like the aforementioned knowledge of the deepest secrets of the cosmos. Or, more realistically, writing some books about those supposed mystical truths, even if I couldn’t experience them directly.
Those days are long gone. I don’t miss them.
Now I’m content with writing a post for one of my blogs every night; taking our dog for a late afternoon walk most days; going to my Tai Chi class three times a week; exercising at our fitness club; doing the grocery shopping on Tuesday; handling household chores; getting Thai takeout for a special treat; and so many other small actions that in my religious believing phase often seemed like distractions from the Big Important Job of self- and god-realization.
In my current frame of mind, I don’t consider that I have an enduring self that needs to be realized, and god is a tiny speck in the rear view mirror of my life, with any thoughts about god basically arising only in the context of my atheism.
Ordinary life is plenty for me. I find it increasingly difficult to tell the difference between washing the dishes and reading a book about the nature of scientific reality. Or lifting weights at the gym and following my breath in closed-eyed meditation.
Maybe this is what Zen refers to when One Taste is spoken of. Google AI seems to indicate that it could be.
In Zen Buddhism, “one taste” (ichimi-zen) means seeing all things as equal. It is the practice of looking past good and bad to accept the present moment with a quiet mind. The concept inspires the book “The One Taste of Truth,” which connects Zen to the art of tea drinking.
I don’t drink tea, but I enjoy using my Keurig pod coffee maker to have a caffeinated cup of organic French Roast in the morning, and decaf in the afternoon. Again, a simple pleasure.
Here’s the thing, though. As I steadily approach what used to seem to me to be the impossibly old age of 80 (I’m 77), I find myself thinking about what will matter the most to me when I’m on my death bed, pondering the course of my life. That turns out to be fairly big things, not small things.
In no particular order, and off the top of my head: having a daughter, and through her, a granddaughter; being (mostly) happily married; writing four books; co-founding a health care ethics organization; stopping a subdivision that threatened our rural neighborhood’s water supply; being active in local politics; aiding people to break free of religious dogmatism through this churchless blog; competing the course requirements for a Ph.D. in Systems Science; earning a black belt in martial arts.
What’s sort of strange is that, as noted above, I feel satisfied and happy doing small ordinary things. Always have, always will. But when I envision what will make me think, “mine was a life worth living,” when I’m close to taking my last breath, it is those bigger things that seemingly will bring a smile to my face. I say seemingly, because I obviously have no idea how or when death will come to me, including how I’ll feel about it.
Maybe putting license plates on my Tesla will seem like one of the most wonderful events of my life. Today it felt that way, so who knows?
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I guess the little Zen aphorism says it all in accepting (or perhaps realising) that all there is is the present moment – in that one’s aliveness, the whole gamut of being alive is now.
You should feel very contented especially when you compare or if you compare yourself to the miserable, problematic, greed meister, ratfink , CAUGHT, guilty Gurinder Singh Dhillon of businessman anonymous ( the Modi citizen version). The guilt and misery written on his aura is apparent. Especially if he offhandedly mentioned that all of his legal problems would disappear if his wife would. Someone must have heard him say that without being a direct order. He’s a slippery snake. Paul called him just a simple Indian boy. But he’s more simple than that. He’s too clever by half, especially now.
finding the ultimate reality is not a high school project we may choose to do most of the people close to even their faith and religion too has no idea what ultimate reality is only difference is you freed yourself of some of the rules or bondages they didn’t cause their minds too are still heavy over their spirit to actually tread over this path earlier millions in 1 could achieve that now with passage of time maybe billion in 1 that too if he is preselected to achieve that no normal human is capable enough to do it on their own there will come a time when the mind will eventually wins and get him back to this world and its chores like in your case the ones who actually did achieve it you wont find them in you backyard or in you neighbourhood playing fetch with their children and dogs
the one who created this extremely complicated world is not a fool to make it easy or attainable to break through it whoever tries will at one point will be thrown back
Extremely well put truth.
It’s interesting to read these different thoughts.
I’m pretty sure what I think on my death bed will be what I think every day:
“It’s not about me”.
For some reason this gives me incredible joy.
Radha Soami Tarn Taran https://share.google/FDTYGo2TKO3V9jvJQ
That’s how come writers of fiction were so good at creating the story of god. And so in my version God wants you to beat him at his own game. There are many gods. Choose wisely .