Below is another in a series of guest blog posts from Anon, an ex-RSSB initiate. RSSB stands for Radha Soami Satsang Beas, an India-based religious organization headed up by a guru that I belonged to for 35 years, which explains my interest in sharing criticisms of the faith that I also found lacking.
Well, based on what you’ll read below, the other posts Anon has shared, what many other RSSB initiates have told me since I started this blog in 2004, and my own experience with RSSB, there’s good reason to say that RSSB isn’t so much a faith, as a cult.
RSSB recruitment triggers
I actually tried to leave RSSB before and they literally pulled me back. There is sadly no casual following with this and it’s all or nothing with them (I suspect for the elite famous people who are too busy doing their fame thing – they get a free pass). In the end I did have to go “UNSUBSCRIBE” “REJECT ALL” and make sure it was something that had no place in my life at all.
I did see this a lot over time within the community. Somebody always pulled people back. Sometimes people genuinely got busy in their lives and returned – but this was always treated as a bad thing. People just assumed if you stopped going to RSSB you stopped following the rules. If you didn’t come regularly to RSSB you were no longer a vegetarian teetotal celibate meditator and therefore a cannibal alcoholic orgy-throwing criminal. As you do. (I wish I was joking, but that is the vibe).
From what I saw of others, there were always key triggers and points where somebody was pulled back in. As I’ve said before – RSSB doesn’t actively recruit in traditional ways like flyers, online ads, “preaching the gospel” – it’s more of a quiet recruitment and somebody you KNOW will always pull you in. As you develop a circle/friends/community there – they will often police you about your RSSB compliance and may try to pull you in too. Leaving is met with demonising the person, and then exile, shunning, excommunication.
Here were common trigger points where I saw people getting “pulled in” by others (or “pulled-back”). These could be any actual ages (depending on your life timeline) but these are the key life milestones where they may try to rope you into RSSB, where the recruitment activates. I saw this a lot from within the community with a lot of multi-generational families there and lifelong RSSB goers.
RSSB recruitment triggers
- Puberty (male and female)
- Starting higher education/university
- “The moment you turn pretty” or start focusing on style/beauty (for girls/women)
- Entering the workforce/ starting your first “proper job”
- Elevating in your career/success
- Gaining financial independence /earnings
- Gaining physical independence – e.g. a car / moving out
- You start nightlife /adult socialising (parties, bars, clubs)
- “Becoming too western” or “getting lost” (for the next generation – RSSB being an indian faith)
- You stop lifestyle laws (e.g. start drinking/start eating meat)
- You stop regular attendance at satsang/seva
- You’re deemed ready to marry (any age from 22-40s)
- Dating -outside RSSB
- In a relationship -with someone outside RSSB
- Marriage -with someone outside RSSB
- Children -with someone non-RSSB
- Major life setbacks (e.g. ill health/job loss/deaths / life plans not going to plan)
IF YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY OUT
I would limit what information you share with active RSSB people, limit their access to you and your dealings with them, and block/remove/limit/delete socials and delete contact details. Generally, the less any active RSSB members know about you – the better. I would only recommend building a bridge with an ex RSSB member you know is firmly OUT. If they get pulled back in at any point or have links to active RSSB members – you may be a further target (by them if they return or the active members they deal with).
I personally have no dealings with any members who are leaving, or any ex members – because I fear further demonisation/attacks for causing others to “fall off the path” or even pullback if they get pulled back in. Even if they did reach out and were totally done – I would probably still say no. My own safety and sanity comes first.
It is harder as RSSB also has your address details and contact details, and requires you to sign in/up whenever you attend all seva, and satsangs if the guru is present, and national satsang. They actively track and monitor attendance/compliance – they say it is for health and safety reasons for ticketing purposes . They also track donations against a donor list too. I don’t know if they do actively track who is active or not – but they definitely can do it and have the potential to. Knowing how aggressive they get (see the commenters) I do find this terrifying at times but try not to think about it.
Good luck out there.
Anon.
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I do not miss believing that a North Indian man is God in human form. That the sound current is the only way to raise one self to enlightenment. That a man from Northern Indian is the only one that can give me the keys to enlightenment. I do not miss That I must alter my life completely by,1. mediating 2 and 1/2 hours everyday for the rest of my life. 2. repeat a five word mantra the remaining 21 and 1/2 hours of every day. Basically I do not miss having to change my very self to suit a North Indian religion. I do not miss the utter Bull shit that Secretaries of local San Gats say, for instance( the last thought you have when you die, is what you are reincarnated into).
It could have been much, much worse, I could be an ex-scientologist.
Funny reading what you wrote. It made me chuckle.
I hear you Marty. And since there’s no mention of worshiping a guru in those four vows of the rssb, the idiots with all the answers have taken to worshiping themselves. Would it be easier to believe that a man from Central Texas was God in human form? That my last thought in my last life was remember the Alamo ? Those misguided rssb creatures need to realize that I am the One. I only have one vow that you must obey. Worship me. And with that trust me and I will handle all of your problems!
That was a one day only offer but I do have cash back deals on donations . Download the app when I tell you.
About half of the families and couples I knew over six decades in the US had one Satsangi and their spouse was of a different belief.
And their kids often went in different directions.
These were incredibly loving families. They had learned to accept a lot, with a smile, and a determination to keep moving forward in whatever moved them towards whatever they defined as good and helpful.
Their home life, in part because of this diversity, was a very open, nurturing environment that held together on a platform of inclusion, understanding that we are all equal members in the human race and yet we see things differently, all worthy of respect.
Values in those families were entirely based on goodwill towards others, acts of kindness and effort towards personal growth, including living with less harm to others, ourselves and the environment.
Had I not known such families I might be swayed to think this essay has some merit and objectivity.
It does, but only from the limited view and limited exposure of the authors.
There is an entirely different view of Sant Mat seen from a broader, inclusive view.
So you cannot say you have captured the Path entirely when you are dealing with a specific point of view, a specific culture, and the Path is not actually culture specific. It is individual. The ethics of peace and personal progress are timeless and universal.
Sant Mat in general does not advocate for any particular culture.
It does advocate for a worry free and simple, natural lifestyle of vegetarianism, meditation, and kindness with the teachings of the Saints, especially the current Gurus, being central motivators to staying in the path.
And it advocates for adapting ourselves to keep our practices intact within a variety of different environments and around the entire range of humanity and culture. Sant Mat is entirely portable, we carry the path within wherever we go.
Like any endeavor, progress depends upon good practice and good effort.
Along the way many prejudices and weaknesses are seen within ourselves, and this is the opportunity for further progress, at a relaxed pace.
At some point in our work, there is no one else to blame. Even we don’t know what we did to bring us here. Hence, we must leave blame altogether.
That’s not easy for anyone. When we want to blame, when we are filled with anger, or desire, when we want, when we worry, in Sant Mat we must still enter meditation every day. This is a huge conflict between the identity that wants, that is addicted, that is angry, or anxious, and the individual Self. When we see we are saddled each with our own complaint list, and our own list of addictions and desires, the only questions that arise are, can we let this heavy baggage go completely? Do we have the strength?
These are the only questions, because we have tasted the bliss within in calmer moments of meditation. At those moments we were with Master. There was nothing to be worried about.
And that turned out to make us bulletproof in dealing with our own shortcomings and the inpositions of the world, which is really just our long forgotten past returning to bug us.
As we realize these things, and I say ‘realize’ not as in theory, but in actual perception, then it is clear we must struggle at times to let these lesser habits, addictions, angers, worries go, and clean the room so that we can experience Master’s company again.
That’s every day. But if you want to grow muscle, you work against resistance. Not so much to overwhelm. Just enough to go a little further.
And then that ability to be filled with peace and light merely by inner attention at any moment and time truly gives you God mode. Nothing can raddle you, nothing can harm you.
But, like all professions and sports, you must maintain your ongoing practice. Not a lot of discipline, but a modest amount, every day.
And then one day, every hour.
And then every moment.
It’s not more discipline. Discipline is the same to be applied. But the road gets smoother and smoother, until you are moving along glass very quickly, and then flying.
Same effort throughout.
I know a family where the wife was from RSSB, but the husband believed in something else. He started going to RSSB programs, but after a few years, he stopped. He eventually believed that RSSB was a big scam and that its Guru was the main culprit, making people fools and being involved in mafia activities, e.g., real estate fraud and money laundering, etc. The Singh brothers incident was the main cause that made his belief stronger.
The kids didn’t follow either parent’s beliefs, and there were fights every day in the house. The differences in beliefs gradually created more and more conflict within the family. Instead of bringing peace and understanding, their different beliefs became a constant source of arguments and tension.
In the end, they endured having a divorce. The whole family was destroyed due to their beliefs. I am not saying who was right or wrong, because everyone has the right to have their own beliefs and opinions. But fundamentalists exist in all religions, and RSSB also has some of them, even though they say they are not a religion.
The point is not to decide who was right or wrong, but to recognize how strongly held beliefs can sometimes create divisions within a family. When people become too rigid or fundamentalist about their beliefs, differences that could otherwise be managed through mutual respect can become a serious source of conflict and, in some cases, can even destroy relationships.
Any dogma threatens the delicate bonds of love, whether of a belief in God or Atheism, or even political beliefs. I happened to witness how the practice of meditation, of listening to Shabd had the opposite effect, basically helping people withdraw from their own flawed thinking. The exact opposite of this, holding tight to the attachment to one’s opinion is the definition of Extremism, thought the individual rarely sees it for themselves. To them, the other guy is the extremist. It leads nowhere. And I can see how some would view Sant Mat from that perspective, though it reflects back to their own attachment to an opinion.
But how does the practice work, in practice? If you are doing your meditation you are gradually withdrawing from your own “sacred” systems of thinking, and the attachments to those beliefs. You must leave all of it behind, every single attachment. That’s how love works: Sacrifice..Not giving up, making sacred by releasing “I”, “Me”, “mine.”
Thoughts aren’t that important in Sant Mat. Practice is, and adhering to that practice. So I agree with what you say, Maria, with the exception that I have seen the opposite effect in homes where the “believer” walked the talk and did their meditation, without any effort to impose. The whole point of Ahimsa is the opposite. But you can see where people politically claim to believe in freedom but have no problem imposing their beliefs upon others. Same problem, I would say it is a universal problem of “I” and “me”. And meditation is the cure, practiced “religiously”…It’s not about us. It’s bigger than us. And a family becomes stronger when each member realizes this, owns it. It’s not about “me” and “mine”. It’s about the family.
And by family I mean all living things.
That’s why those who are serious about confronting their own issues, and sacrificing them on any alter of devotion to the Good, become better human beings, better colleagues.
Another example. When I was young in Los Angeles I worked with colleagues who were gay. And I also worked in locked mental health wards that also held addicts. I noticed something very, very important. People who had been oppressed by hatred and prejudice, addiction and obsession, as they grew to let those things go, gradually, and became fully who they were, held a humility that seemed to me to be regal, as if they had been transformed into royalty. Their patience, their tolerance, their acceptance of others, their inclusiveness, their understanding of oppression, whether from outside or within, and their encouragement of their fellows, even in a locked mental institution, were humbling, and on the order of great gurus, great sages, great poets. They understood from the bottom, the sensitive and delicate nature, and the sacredness of that nature of life. They were truly humble. And I was humbled in their presence.
The lesson I learned is how powerful adversity can be, met with flexibility and an unshakeable core that helped them, as they had transformed through their difficulties, to greet everyone with kindness and warmth, acceptance and encouragement.
You can teach these concepts. But find instead a true Guru who embodies them.
No complaints. No blame.
When people really learn to overcome themselves, their fears and become who they are, they often become extremely noble, honorable, and the best company.
I find anon’s posts so over the top and so lacking in nuance that it betrays any reasonable point they are struggling to make.
Sorry the hyperbole in anon’s posts indicate that much of the problem is in anon and the repeated projections.
Yes, the guru is not god, yes, leave RS if that is your position.
But geez, nobody is knocking and kidnapping you back into RS except your own mind. Take a chill pill and leave.
But you have to take the guru as god, greater than god even. Otherwise RSSB falls apart…
Not exactly, Neon. In Fayetteville someone came up to the microphone and said “You are God…”. Baba Ji interrupted him immediately and said, paraphrasing, “No. To say such things is presumptuous. I’m no different than you. Find these things out for yourself in meditation, and do not use such words. They are just words at this stage.”
Someone else later that morning then asked him, “Must we give up love in order to find truth?”
His answer burned into me.. A truth that has proven itself over and over.
This was twenty years ago.
He said “No. We want you to raise your love, so that on a platform of love you will know the truth.”
RSSB guilty of proselytizing? Go to any RSSB satsang you will be cordially ignored forever unless you ask for something. No one will “love bomb” you or try to sell you anything.
I also recall that Gurinder stopped all retail sales of RSSB books. That is, retail bookstores could no longer order and stock RSSB books. The books have only been available at satsangs and online from the RSSB website.
Gurinder even removed the often artfully designed covers of these books and replaced them with unattractive covers.
Anon, if you attend a concert, you register and get a ticket. If it was open and a free for all do you think the organisers would be able to cope?
You know damn well, why the ticketing system is in place. I say you are based in the UK going from your comments. When their new building is ready, I daresay the tickets will no longer be needed.
This is gross. Unsanitary even
https://youtube.com/shorts/8nLDKD7rbKM?is=ULIBXyoYHenrfRmx
We don’t miss Charan Singh us that knew him he’s still always with us. These new gurus are not anything like him. Here’s why… And btw my meditation is better than ever!
https://youtu.be/T0Ue78SDRgg?is=MCKfbJfkAQLMQkaa