A moving message to me that I found in a strange way

My wife and I are having our carpets replaced next week. That means getting everything off of our existing carpets. Today I was working away in the room where I keep many of my books and most of my files.

After taking all of the files out of a cabinet that includes correspondence I want to keep, I saw a single sheet of paper lying on the rug where hanging folders used to be. It must have fallen out of a manila folder and sat there unnoticed for quite a while. I’d penned in a date on the lower right corner: Sept 2018

Reading it, I understood why I kept it. I don’t know whether the unsigned message came in the form of an email, letter, or blog post comment. All I know is that the message made me feel really good, as sentiments like these keep me going on this blog whenever I start to think, maybe I’ve said all that I need to say.

Here’s the message, just as it was written.

…I’d like you to know that you are loved and respected by so many people in India, and in the UK. Your consistency of thought and logical assumption surpasses the expectations of a tribe who has come to know and love that you are, indeed, practicing the gospel of spiritual freedom and independence. I’m in tears every time you write about your health, simply because you are a pillar of strength to me and to so many who may not reach out to you, or don’t know how to… but just the fact that you can so articulately outline the reasoning that so many of us truly need…

that’s enough for all of us to go to bed safe in the know that the conflicts that abound in our hearts are normal… and that’s so much in itself, so much that you have so selflessly given all of us. I speak on the behalf of my mother, and my Aunt… both went from warning me about you, to telling me how honest you are… and that, for me, is the most important approval. Here was a man I had never met, but whose book (Life is Fair) was a bedtime favourite, and when he started openly discussing why the 35 years in RSSB weren’t enough to blindly believe… the liberal in me was tickled.

I was a long time observer, but it took me an age and some serious gumption to write my first comment on the COTC. There was never going to be a looking back… I vowed to drop the pseudo-spirituality and to start bettering myself as a person… a practice I’ve stuck to ever since the day I realised that I’m actually clueless, and alone, and a speck of cute smugness that has absolutely no idea of how the universe functions. It has been a journey, Brian. I may not write in for a year (that’s never going to happen again) but not a day passes when I don’t think of you and the profound impact that you’ve had on my life and the authenticity that I’ve cultivated as a result of it.

I can probably say that you’ve been my hero, the one person who has given me so much strength… …strength, not just to deal wth the debunking of a belief system, but a strength that has permeated every aspect of my life and has radically changed my worldview and the way I respond to life. I’ll reserve my heartfelt gratitude for a much awaited personal meet-up in Oregon. You are my beloved shining star, I will live in gratitude for the rest of my life… …and I thank the Almighty (…if he/she exists) for giving me a glimpse into your beautiful mind. There is so much unconditional love that you have evoked within the hearts of the ones who have found a friend in your writings… even the RSSB’ers feel that you are a force to reckon with. I’m proud of you my friend.

Aw, thanks. All I can say is that I deeply appreciate your appreciation. And that if you really knew me, as my wife and dog do, you’d know how flawed I am. That’s the honest truth. But since you said you approve of honesty, I do aspire to that. Imperfectly, like how I pursue everything in life.