Posted inHumor Religions

Fake celebrity video shows how gurus scam devotees

Watch this You Tube video. In four and a half minutes you'll have a much better understanding of how gurus, prophets, masters, and other "spiritual" celebrities get so many people to believe in them. Fascinating, how easy it is to delude us humans. Our tendency is to follow others like sheep. (Thanks to a blog visitor for sending me a link to this video. It's got over 4 million You Tube views, but I hadn't heard of it before.)   
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Posted inHumor Personal/Stories

Photos of my not-so-sacred meditation chamber

I figure it's time to prepare for my hoped-for veneration, exaltation, and worship as an enlightened godly being. True, I don't believe in enlightenment or in God. But why should this stop me from being worshipped? I founded this here Church of the Churchless. I preach about stuff all the time. I'm venerated in my own mind. Maybe the exaltation I feel toward myself will spread someday. So in case someone ever builds a shrine to me, here's photos of the meditation chamber where my perfection becomes more perfect every morning. I hereby give permission for it to be recreated…
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Posted inHumor

Snoop Dogg (now Lion) finds his true inner self

Congratulations to the former Snoop Dogg, who now raps as Snoop Lion. He has found his true inner Rastafarian self.  Details are lacking as to whether his true self was discovered in a psycho-active smoky haze. Snoop Lion has not only found himself, he's discovered that he's the reincarnation of Bob Marley. Finally, a religious awakening that has a ring of truth to it. 
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Posted inGod Humor

If God was real and could see us now

Cosmic! The next morning after I blog about my communication with God, where I learned that this non-existent divine being is deeply irritated with us humans, a cartoon pops up in my Facebook feed with similar message.  
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Posted inHumor Personal/Stories

Universe is sending me a “Fuck. That. Shit.” message

I've got no idea who "the Universe" could be. Or if it is a "who." Or if it is, at all. Regardless... The Universe seems to be trying to communicate an important message to me.  Fuck. That. Shit.  It also comes in a different cadence and punctuation. Fuck that shit! Today I came across the Mother Ship source of the first link, a cool xkcd comic. Read it. Maybe the Universe is out to give you the same message.  Here's an excerpt from the comic that I liked a lot: I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what…
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Posted inHumor Miscellaneous

Got to share some poetic hate-mail insults

I've got to give credit where credit is due: one of my most avid non-fans does come up with some marvelously creative (and alliterative) insulting comments.  Often these go into a Typepad spam filter, where I just discovered some heretofore unnoticed gems. Usually I ignore hate mail, but these communications struck me as possessing an admirable "Howl" style (Allen Ginsberg's classic poem) and deserved to be shared with a wider audience. why you such a two bit second grade hypocritical coward you miserable little runt eyed prat, what you so goddamn chicken about you pitiful little two faced rat? You…
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Posted inChristianity/Jesus Humor

I’m doing the “work of Our Lord.” Surprise to me.

Who knew? Certainly not me. Just got this email from Rev. Shawn Malloy, my "brother in Jesus." Dear Brother Brian My brother in Christ I want to say I love the sight [site?] and I pray that your Facebook launch will be success.  You are doing the work of Our Lord so my prayers are with you. Sincerely, Your Brother in Christ Jesus ________________________________ Reverend Dr. Shawn M. Malloy DDFounder and Senior PastorMalloy Ministrieshttp://www.malloyministries.org Excellent news. If I learn after I die that I'm wrong, and Jesus truly is the Son of God who died for our sins, I can…
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Posted inHumor Religions

Bill Maher says “atheism is not a religion.” Yes!

On last Friday's Real Time With Bill Maher, the "New Rules" segment got it exactly right. Atheism is not a religion. It's the absence of religion.  As noted in this post, if atheism is a religion, albino is a suntan. For another thoughtful perspective, check out Skeptico's "Atheism is not a religion." You can watch the whole New Rules segment (six minutes long) here. Atheism bit is at the end. Thanks to HBO, I'll share a transcript of Maher's take on religion and atheism below.  And finally, New Rule: Until someone claims to see Christopher Hitchens' face in a tree…
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Posted inHumor

Puppetji on meaning of life

Via an email, someone just reminded me about a source of ageless wisdom that I'd tapped into some years ago, but had forgotten about: Puppetji. His socksang on "Why Are We Here?" pretty much says it all. Certainly more entertainingly than my recent blog post about finding meaning in life.    l can also recommend "What is Sacred?" as providing a meaningful answer to this oh-so-important question.  
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Posted inChristianity/Jesus Humor

Atheists, pray for the Patriots to beat Tim Tebow

Today is apocalyptic. God-loving quarterback Tim Tebow and his Denver Broncos play Tom Brady's New England Patriots in an important NFL playoff game.  This isn't only a football game. It's a battle with cosmic significance. Will in-your-face, obnoxious, Christian "Tebowing" win out, leading fundamentalists to believe that, indeed, God is on the Nuggets' side? Will a quarterback who says he's still a virgin (Tebow) triumph over a guy (Brady) who fathered a love child with another woman and now is married to supermodel Gisele Bundchen? God, I hope not! Like some of the Patriots, I'm tired of Tebow talk. So…
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Posted inHumor Personal/Stories

Hafiz warns, watch out for spiritual la-la land

Hafiz is pretty cool, for a religious'y guy. He's a Persian mystic poet who did his thing in the 14th century.  Daniel Ladinsky has written a book, "A Year With Hafiz," that contains 365 poems that are versions of Hafiz, in much the same sense that Coleman Barks has popularized Rumi. Meaning, liberties are taken. These aren't word for word translations. Fine with me. I'd rather get the spirit of a poet, than the letter of what he or she said.  Here's the January 17 poem, "Watch Out for Spiritual La-La Land." Watch out for spiritual la-la land, where you might…
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Posted inHumor Politics

Sodomites and infidels should govern U.S.

This video response to Rick Perry's religious homophobia is much more to my liking. Hey, the guy makes a lot of sense. He observes that gay and atheist presidents didn't get us into wars or financial crises. No, "It took some God-fearing vagina penetrators to pull that off." The solution: "Leave the governing to sodomites and infidels." Sounds good to me.   
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Posted inGod Humor

Stephen Colbert’s God joke: “What if this is all there is?”

A few nights ago Stephen Colbert told a joke about God on The Colbert Report. It was at the end of an interview with Father Jim Martin, author of "Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life." The audience, along with Father Martin, laughed at the end of the joke. Me, I was more puzzled than amused. As soon as I heard the punchline I thought, "Wow. This is profound." But I didn't know why. Yes, the joke is funny. But it's the sort of humor that's funny because it's so…
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Posted inHumor Religions

Two Portlanders go to church so you don’t have to

I like "Year of Sundays." Especially the tag line under the blog's name: we go to church so you don't have to Thanks, Joel Gunz and Amanda Westmont, who are fellow Oregonians. I've taken you up on your offer. You're both terrific writers (after each visit to a church or other spiritual gathering, Joel and Amanda compose separate descriptions of their experience). Portland, Oregon's alternative newspaper, Willamette Week, gave them a 2011 "Best Divine Dilettantes" award. If you’re in the market for a religious experience, Amanda Westmont and Joel Gunz might be able to lend you some wisdom. The pair…
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Posted inGod Humor

God responds to Rick Perry

Well, that didn't take long. God has already reacted to Texas Governor Rick Perry's prayer rally. The Supreme Being isn't pleased. Turns out he isn't even supreme. Read the revelation. Here's part of God's blunt message. Let me tell you something else,  Rick: I didn’t give you those commandments and I didn’t send my only begotten son to help you out.  I don’t care whose ox gores a foreigner or what you do with your neighbour’s ass.  And I certainly never had an interest in first century Palestinian virgins.  They’re all stories Rick, stories.The fact is, I’ve never really done…
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Posted inHumor Spiritual practice/meditation

Roseanne Barr’s meditation approach sounds good to me

In a Newsweek story, "Roseanne Mouths Off (Again)," Roseanne Barr's rather untraditional Judaic approach to meditation is described. Barr’s hair has gone gray and she has feather hair extensions—she looks like a hippie (check), grandma (check), stoner (check: every Friday night for Shabbat from sundown until 2 a.m., she gets high, drinks red wine, and does a meditation Rav Berg taught her). Nice. My only question is what proportion of time each activity takes from sundown until 2 am. I could follow this form of Kabbalah if, say, sundown was at 8 pm and the pot-smoking/wine-drinking lasts until 1:40 am,…
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Posted inHumor

Obedient Wives Club makes me want to convert to Islam

It looks like I've been too harsh on Islam, because Indonesia's Obedient Wives Club has made me realize how this religion can come up with some really great ideas. A new club in Indonesia that encourages women to be totally obedient to their husbands and focus on keeping them sexually satisfied has generated an outcry from some activists. The Indonesian branch of the Obedient Wives Club, launched early this month in Malaysia, claims to have about 300 members in several cities. Group leader Gina Puspita said the club would offer its members a package of teachings including how to treat…
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