Posted inHumor Spiritual practice/meditation

Roseanne Barr’s meditation approach sounds good to me

In a Newsweek story, "Roseanne Mouths Off (Again)," Roseanne Barr's rather untraditional Judaic approach to meditation is described. Barr’s hair has gone gray and she has feather hair extensions—she looks like a hippie (check), grandma (check), stoner (check: every Friday night for Shabbat from sundown until 2 a.m., she gets high, drinks red wine, and does a meditation Rav Berg taught her). Nice. My only question is what proportion of time each activity takes from sundown until 2 am. I could follow this form of Kabbalah if, say, sundown was at 8 pm and the pot-smoking/wine-drinking lasts until 1:40 am,…
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Posted inHumor

Obedient Wives Club makes me want to convert to Islam

It looks like I've been too harsh on Islam, because Indonesia's Obedient Wives Club has made me realize how this religion can come up with some really great ideas. A new club in Indonesia that encourages women to be totally obedient to their husbands and focus on keeping them sexually satisfied has generated an outcry from some activists. The Indonesian branch of the Obedient Wives Club, launched early this month in Malaysia, claims to have about 300 members in several cities. Group leader Gina Puspita said the club would offer its members a package of teachings including how to treat…
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Posted inGod Humor

I’m an atheist who is beloved by God

Bow down to me, religious believers, because I am the exalted one, God's most favored favorite, the beloved of whoever or whatever divinity -- assuming such exists -- lies at the heart of reality. How do I know this? In the same way the true name of God, Galobet, came to me in a French Roast-fueled revelation five years ago. So after sipping my way through some pre-meditation reading, my consciousness was marvelously attuned to Galobet’s divine message. I was flying high on the swiftly beating wings of caffeine. This proximity to Galobet’s heavenly realm allowed me to hear his…
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Posted inChristianity/Jesus Humor

I like “The Thinking Atheist.” He reminds me of me.

Recently I came across The Thinking Atheist web site. It's slick and sophisticated looking, which distinguishes it from my Church of the Churchless minimalist blog design. But when I turned to the FAQ page and read the witty Q and A's of The Thinking Atheist, I realized that I was in the presence of a kindred non-soul. Namely, someone with a sense of humor who has had to deal with many of the same questions and issues that I have. This guy was a Christian of 30 years and a former Christian broadcaster. He says: I finally started "thinking" for…
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Posted inHumor Religions

Religion is a joke which some take seriously

If you've followed my musings on this blog since I started it in November 2004 -- and shame on you, you churchless sinner, if you haven't! -- I can see why you might think that I've mellowed out, anti-religion wise. Indeed, it's true that my most rabid rants against religiosity were written in the early Church of the Churchless years. Now I'm more inclined to ignore dogmas than to foam at the mouth about how ridiculous they are. In short, I don't take religions as seriously as I used to. What irritates me the most are the effects of fundamentalism…
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Posted inHumor

If the Bible permits it, why can’t I own a Canadian?

Here's a classic (all the way from 2002) expose of the ridiculousness of some entities that deserve to be ridiculed: the Old Testament and Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Dear Dr. Laura:Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some…
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Posted inHumor

Muhammad actually is a beautiful blonde girl!

Wow, who knew? I had no idea that Muhammad was this good looking. And that he was a woman. Plus, alive! Check out what she has to say in a You Tube video, "Muhammad tells it like it is." It's a whole new Sharia law, Muslims.  
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Posted inHumor Religions

Spiritual sadness and humor

Sad: a PBS video about the Devadasi practice in India -- religiously sanctioned prostitution. Funny: a graphic economic argument against the reality of supernatural phenomena. (thanks, Clare, for letting me know about these)
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Posted inHumor

Another great Duhism

I'm a daily reader of Duhisms. Here's a recent one that I enjoyed. The proof of spiritual attainment is shown by transcending "I." Is anyone else made a wee bit suspicious that "I" believe this? Along this line, after I watched about half of The Advaita Trap cartoon I figured out that the dark brown creature must have written most of the books that I've bought about non-duality. Check it out. I confess that once I got to the five minute mark my head felt like it was going to explode, so I didn't watch the rest.  
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Posted inHumor

God doesn’t appear at Rally to Restore Sanity

Well, what a non-surprise. At today's Rally to Restore Sanity on the National Mall in Washington, DC, God didn't make an appearance -- despite the implorings of not-exactly a Father Guido Sarducci. I watched the first half of the rally on C-Span, so got to see Father Sarducci's benediction. It was appealingly comedic, though not without some fairly serious philosophising at the expense of true believers. Noting that there lots of religions in the world, each of which believes that it knows the truth about God while the rest are mistaken, Sarducci asked God to send a sign to the…
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Posted inHumor

ChristWire: an all-too-true satire of religion

Yesterday the New York Times "outed" ChristWire, a web site whose banner reads "Conservative Values for an Unsaved World." It's hilarious. And also kind of disturbing, in the sense of The Onion. Because it's sort of scary when ridiculous stories can be taken seriously by lots of people. How can the United States, or the world, manage its affairs properly when a near-majority of so-called Homo sapiens are more validly called village idiots? The New York Times story is called "A Niche of the Unreal in a World of Credulity." ChristWire has lately reached new levels of popularity, in part…
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Posted inFundamentalism Humor

Draw Mohammed Day freaks out fundamentalist Muslims

Example #[infinity] of why religions are so ridiculous: Pakistan shuts down Facebook over a page that promotes "Draw Mohammed Day."The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority issued the order a day before "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day," scheduled by a Facebook group with the same name. "Obviously it (the blocking of Facebook) is related to the objectionable material that was placed on Facebook. That is why it is blocked," said Khoram Ali Mehran of the telecommunication authority.Check out Everybody Draw Mohammed Day! on Facebook. No reason not to -- aside from defying the will of Allah and being damned for eternity, along with having…
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Posted inHumor Religions

My 100% guaranteed spiritual investment scheme

With all the talk going on these days about sleazy financial deal-making, I've been wondering why Wall Street doesn't hire more religious experts. They seem even better suited than mathematical wizards to be able to fashion can't-miss investment schemes.By "can't-miss," naturally I'm referring to the 100% certainty that the purveyor of the deal will profit. As is so often the case, the poor suckers who buy into it aren't guaranteed anything -- which is why the scheme is structured as it is.There are lots of variations on the religious "Invest Now and Reap the Rewards Later" pitch. I'm most familiar…
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Posted inHumor

“This Too Shall Pass” could be secret of universe

I can't explain why, but I'm pretty sure this You Tube video contains the secret of the universe. Watching it, I had an overwhelming feeling of "Yes! That's exactly what life is all about!" However, I still have no idea what life is all about. Just that whatever it is, this is how it works.
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Posted inHumor

Nice Duhism

A recent Duh of the Day explained how to make money from a spiritual belief.A Hindu yogi told me, "I have never been born so I can never die." So, I made myself the beneficiary on his life insurance. Thanks for the Lexus, dude-ji!
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Posted inHumor Reality

The universe is a paper bag turned inside out

Some forty-two years ago, back in 1968, I had a revelation: The universe is a paper bag turned inside out. Now, at the time I had some reasons to doubt the veracity of this insight into ultimate reality, since it was fueled by mescaline and dissipated the following day. But another guy and I intuited this truth at the exact same moment. Far out. Today I've gotten confirmation that, indeed, the universe is a bag turned inside out. Tucson, a regular Church of the Churchless visitor, left a comment on this blog post that said, in part:Our perception is like…
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Posted inHumor

Non-dual cartoons point way to enlightenment (or, not)

One of the favorite people crazed cartoon characters I follow on Twitter is MonkMojo. I've learned a lot about non-dualism and Zen from reading his clever tweets. Saying that, of course, means that I haven't learned a thing. But who gives a shit? A smile is close to enlightenment, which is one of the idiotic cliches that MonkMojo enjoys demolishing. Here's some sample MonkMojo tweets. (RT means a re-tweet; what follows the || is MonkMojo's add-on).RT @Yojinbo: wasn't impressed w/ the response I got from Houston Zen Center when I was in prison: no response. || Sounds pretty Zen 2…
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