Finding meaning in small things…without God

God has become too big for me. So has heaven. Along with more scientific notions like ultimate reality. No longer do I have an idea about what super-consciousness would be like. Or how merging my supposed soul with a supposed all-pervading Oneness would change things for me.Along with other religious true believers, I used to have some pretty damn grandiose spiritual plans. I was going to save my soul. I was going to meet God in heaven -- maybe in this very life! I was going to know divine truths that few people on earth had a clue about. I…

The sheer strangeness of everything

Sanity is consensual. If there's someone else who sees the world in the same way I do, that gives me at least a little bit of confidence that I'm not way out in weirdo-world -- though I'm not saying that would be a bad thing.This morning I came across a passage in Stephen Bachelor's new book, "Confession of a Buddhist Atheist," that echoed sensations I have frequently these churchless days, and tried to describe at the end of my "Mysticism doesn't have to be mystical" post.Here's how Bachelor says it:One evening at dusk, as I was returning to my room…

The sweet taste of imperfection

Religions and most forms of spirituality strive for perfection. Or at least, improvement. They teach that we're fallen, sinful, deluded, enmeshed in maya/karma, ego-ridden, desirous, lustful, selfish.In short, imperfect. Well, yeah. That's what being human is. That's what being alive is. Perfection is an abstraction, a concept, an idea. Maybe it exists. Maybe it doesn't. Perfection is a state of mind. Sometimes we're filled with a sense of everything is just as it should be. Then that moment passes.And we're left with life in its everchangingness. Ups and downs. Happiness and sorrow. Good news and bad news. Smiles and frowns.This afternoon…

Merry whatever tomorrow means to you

It's December 24. Tomorrow, not surprisingly, is the 25th. Some people make a big deal out of the day. Christmas! Presents! Baby Jesus! Other people, like my wife and me, look upon it pretty much as any other day. Except, Laurel is taking the opportunity of a holiday to try out a new recipe for a walnut loaf.At the moment I'm listening to Christmas songs being played on the sound system of my favorite blogging-friendly coffee house. The music is pleasant enough, though not what I choose to listen to myself.Which basically sums up my evolving churchless attitude toward Christmas.…

This Is It. Great movie. Terrific philosophy.

"This Is It." My wife and I saw the movie last night. Marvelous. Michael Jackson as never known before. I mean, I knew he was a supremely talented dancer and singer. But as a person... I threw him into my weird tortured artist category. Watching him in real life as he rehearsed his "This Is It" show reveals a Michael Jackson who comes off first and foremost as a supremely nice guy. Courteous, soft-spoken, gentle, harmonious, humorous, balanced.That's my take on the movie. Then there's This Is It, the philosophy. Which is reflected throughout the film. Jackson and the other…

Halloween churchless cheers and jeers

Well, I've got to start off my Halloween cheering with a big shout-out to the Oregon Ducks football team, who crushed fifth-ranked USC tonight in Eugene -- an hour's drive away from Church of the Churchless headquarters here in south Salem. Next, praise for Halloween itself, a nice mostly-pagan/secular holiday, albeit with some mildly Christian overtones, which are barely recognizable beneath all those sexy costumes. It's interesting, but not all that surprising, that so many adults (and children also) choose to express their darker, sensuous, slutty, or sinister side on Halloween. You don't see many Compassionate Buddhist Monk or Charitable…

Shocked at my past beliefs, should I disown me?

I picked up the book. Thumbed through the pages and located the right chapter. Scanned a few paragraphs. Then found the lines I was looking for:Mysticism has little quarrel with the theory of evolution -- as long as it is recognized that life evolves not randomly, but under the guidance of an intelligence which is far beyond our ability to fathom. All that is evident are the results of a divine will reflected most imperfectly in the fossil record and the current diversity of species.Oh no!, I thought. The author is an intelligent design advocate. He believes in bullshit!I threw…

Happiness is five years of churchless blogging

This being my birthday, I figured it was a great time to fire up my Burgman scooter, head to my favorite Salem coffee house, and write a blog post -- stimulated by 20 ounces of the Beanery house blend. Next month is this blog's five year anniversary. One of the presents I opened this morning -- in addition to a bunch of books I gave to myself -- was a wall hanging that Laurel, my wife, thought was fitting for me.Happiness: When one's spiritual needs are met by an untroubled inner life. Happiness comes when your work and words are…

There are no rules (including this one)

Hopefully my Suzuki Burgman 650 scooter won't burst into flames from the blasphemy of riding it while wearing a Harley-Davidson t-shirt. But I liked the message of the most philosophical piece of wearing apparel I came across in the Indianapolis International Airport shopping area yesterday, and had to buy it. I love my Japanese scooter. Wouldn't trade it for a Harley. However, the Harley-Davidson philosophy of life -- encapsulated on the t-shirt -- fits with my churchless leanings.Here's the answer someone new to Harley motorcycles got when he asked on a forum what being a member of the Florida Crew…

Follow your passion wherever it leads

Wow -- that's probably the most New Age'y blog post title I've ever inflicted upon cyberspace. But it fits with what I feel right now.Which can be expressed in some other cliches that have run through my mind the past few days, when I've been pondering whether to consummate my passion for a Suzuki Burgman 650 Exec maxi-scooter that almost came to fruition last fall.Live for the momentDo it now before you're too old and can't do itWhat's important is the traveling, not the destinationHaving fun along the way is the wayRisk adds zest to life -- don't fear itHaving…

Get rid of the guilt, religious or otherwise

I usually don't see myself as a guilt-ridden person. However, yesterday I learned that old Catholic habits hang around in difficult-to-discern guises.I've got a natural food store checkout clerk to thank for this valuable churchless insight. This was my first visit carrying a Whole Foods reusable bag. My wife and I had picked several up during a trip to Portland earlier in the day (Salem doesn't have a Whole Foods Market -- or a Trader Joes, despite our fervent visualizations).When I plunked my purchases down on the conveyor belt and started to unfold the Whole Foods bag, I found myself…

Thanks for making the past year happy

Church of the Churchless visitors, in 2008 you made me happy. Well, let's make that happier. I would have had an enjoyable year without you guys and gals, but being in touch with you through your comments and emails added a lot to my life.My wife and I belong to a "Salon" discussion group here in Salem. Monthly a bunch of us get together in one of our homes and spend three hours or so conversing about all kinds of stuff.Politics. Current events. Books. What's going on in peoples' lives. And much more.At the last meeting, a couple of days…

Clearing out some churchless scraps

I feel grateful (not to God, but to the vagaries of weather) that our power is still on, given what's been happening today in other parts of south Salem. We've been on the edge of a rain/freezing rain divide, created by the clash of cold air flowing down the Columbia Gorge and warmer air coming in from the Pacific. Nasty stuff, freezing rain. I'll take snow over it anytime.At any rate, being pretty much housebound I've had more time to stare at the non-Feng Shui piles of paper on my desk, which includes some scribbled ideas for Church of the…

If you can’t find the party, try another place

I want to suck as much meaning as possible out of yesterday’s marvelous election results. So I’ll keep the party going (sorry, Republicans) with a story about how I couldn’t find the party. Which bears quite a bit of resemblance to how I wasn’t able to locate the spiritual extravaganza that supposedly was rocking on a level of higher consciousness, according to the meditation system that I followed for many years. In both cases, it eventually became obvious that I wasn’t in the right place. But the interesting thing is how non-obvious obviousness can be, if you’ve got your mind…

Small things can be the biggest

For me, one of the hallmarks of churchlessness is being content with the smaller side of life. Maybe this partly comes from aging, but not all of it. Yes, I recall my 50th birthday, when a friend told me: “Now you won’t worry so much about accomplishing all that you set out to do.” What was unstated I took to be, “because you’ve passed your prime and don’t have much time left.” Well, if that was true at 50, it’s even more so at 60. Yet I don’t think age alone explains the increased pleasure I get from everyday life…

What else is there to say?

Once again, Edward nailed it (or rather, me) right on the head in a cogent comment. Regarding my previous musing, he said: Brian, reading this post I got the feeling that you won't have to write much longer, you are almost done... I like those words, almost done. Conjures up an image of being slowly cooked, like a roast pig turning on a spit. I've been feeling a non-Biblical apple in my mouth make me grin more. Doesn't seem like the churchless heat has been turned up all that high, but clearly it's been causing some changes. Anyway, you're right,…

Craziness can be a dose of sanity

The older I get, the more appealing a little craziness appears to me. I'm not talking about whacked out psychosis, but something milder – in the immoral, illogical, illicit, or ill-understandable sphere of strangeness. Stuff that soothes a person's far out! soul, while making others question why he or she is marching out of the beat of the ordinary. I'm not religious. However, there are aspects of religiosity that fill the crazy bill. Of course, theologically every religion is certifiably nuts. Intellectual or conceptual craziness isn't a positive sort of far out-ness. On the other hand, when I watch TV…

Benefits of blogging and bitching

Yesterday I got an email from a Church of the Churchless visitor who offered me some advice: It seems to me like you spend more time writing on this blogging thing than is healthy for anybody to do….We all get disillusioned with something, but we can move on or we can waste our time bitching about our disillusionment in cyberspace all day. Well, I beg to differ. I'm not in cyberspace all day. Though when our well pump stopped working this afternoon, and I had to find a way to get it fixed at the start of the Memorial Day…

Life is a mystery. Afterlife, ditto.

I like how Zen talks about the need for a "great ball of doubt." It seems like I should have enjoyed a satori by now, my doubt is so balled up. Some days more than others. This was a good doubting day. I just had an interview with my Zen master, who, conveniently, is myself (makes it easy to get appointments). He reviewed the enigmatic koans that life presented me on this Sunday, along with my responses. I think he was pleased. But I can't say for sure. That doubt thing, you know. Sundays usually follow a fairly predictable routine…